Sunday 8 September 2013

St Blazey is an Eden Hazard for Ilfracombe




Hopperational details
Date & Venue
Saturday 7 September – NON-LEAGUE DAY 2013
Result
St Blazey 3 Ilfracombe Town 2 after extra time
Competition
FA Vase First Round Qualifying
Hopping
Number 524 on the lifetime list. I am here because of this precise sequence of events
a)    The departure from WBA of Peter Odemwingie on transfer deadline day
b)    A box in the shape of a  triangular-based prism landed on face number 3 of 3
c)    A standard red d6 die came up with a three
d)    A standard blue d6 die came up with a five
This is the only combination of these events which could have brought me here.  If you are new to this blog – welcome – and here’s the explanation spread over the last three posts!  It’s random – ish.


Pre-match preparation
St Blazey play in the Step 6 South-West Peninsula League and have started the season with one win and three defeats, plus an FA Cup defeat.  Ilfracombe Town are in Step 5, the Western League Premier Division, and also have the same 1-3 win-loss record so far, but they won their FA Cup tie.  Ilfracombe probably start as favourites even away from home.  Their website shares the squad nicknames with the world – one is known as “Mars Bar” and I hope he features.  Other than that, pre-match prep has consisted of getting early nights and booking a Friday night stayover en route because I have about 10 hours in the Yappmobile to look forward to!  The ground is 5 minutes from the Eden Project, so that’s where I spent the morning. Brilliant stuff.



This match in one sentence
St Blazey came back twice from losing positions and then the tie was settled by an own goal in the first half of extra time.
So what?
 St Blazey visit Plymouth Parkway in the next round in two weeks.
The drama unfolds
The Eden Project is a club sponsor and has named the main stand (which almost no-one uses today).

Sadly, no “Mars Bar” on the teamsheet for the visitors.  St Blazey started the game with Lewis Hayward in a 15 shirt, and number 7 on the bench to confuse groundhoppers.  He was often very involved in home attacks, but it was Ilfracombe who started brighter.  It was not until about midway through the first half that the home side got into the game, and my scene-setter clip is taken at this point.  A very nice scene it is too.  St Blazey are in green.



Player-manager Ross "Vi" Middleton was prominent in midfield for the visitors.  They created and missed some reasonable chances, including a route one break from the back.  The opening goal came from a move down the right.  When the ball came centrally to Stan "Winner" Paxton his first shot was blocked by the keeper but it looped nicely back to him and he made no mistake with a shot into the lower left corner.  0-1 after 35 mins

St Blazey lost one of their big guys, debutant Tornado Bello (no, I am not making this up), to injury but they didn’t buckle and in fact it needed a flying save by Kurtis "Mummy" Parkin to protect the lead.  A second goal for Ilfracombe was correctly disallowed for offside just before the break.  0-1 at half-time

The game was open and end-to-end – not always the highest technical quality but not short on effort and application.  Dave Painter in the home goal made a sharp save on 65 minutes to keep the game alive, and his side equalised a few minutes later.  Danny Zalick was doing a Ricky Lambert impression up front – getting in good positions and lots of clever link-up play – and he reached a through ball just before Parkin to poke the ball into an empty net.  1-1 after 72 mins

The joy and delight was short-lived.  From the kick-off, the first Ilfracombe attack ended with Stan Paxton burying a great shot in the top right-hand corner of the net.  Splendid goal, and as you were with the game situation.  1-2 after 73 mins

Painter was called into action again as Ilfracombe for the second time missed the chance to get a two-goal cushion.  It was to cost them.  With seven minutes left, St Blazey sub number 12, a man for whom I suspect “finesse” has been omitted from his personal coaching programme, absolutely belted a shot from the right-hand corner of the box.  A brilliant, brilliant goal.  Although I have repeatedly listened to my audio recording of the team announcements, I can’t decide whether he is Joe Simms, Josh Imps or something in between.  It could have been a first appearance as there is nothing listed remotely like that in the programme. Whoever you are, sir, a cracking goal.  2-2 after 83 mins

UPDATE: Just found Josh "I once got mistaken for Craig David" Sims featured inside the sports pages of the excellent Cornish Guardian.  Mystery solved.  I was close.

Ilfracombe missed two more decent chances before the whistle – Frank "The Tank" Paxton pulled a shot narrowly wide and then Painter made another save in stoppage time.  This being the Vase, it is on to extra-time (but no penalties) – there would be a replay if it is still level after 120 mins.  2-2 after 90 minutes

The first chance fell to Stan Paxton but this time his first touch deserted him, as did the chance of a hat-trick.  Then St Blazey’s Jordan Greatrex sent a looping shot on to the bar as the game continued to be breathless and end-to-end.  Here’s the winning goal – an unfortunate own-goal deflection by substitute Liam "Crazer" Craze.  3-2 after 104 mins and at half-time in extra time



St Blazey were able to control the ball for much of the second period and Ilfracombe rather faded.  Nevertheless that man Painter had to make a good save again with a few minutes to go.  I recorded the final minutes for posterity – St Blazey hung on for the win.  What a great day out for a passing neutral on Non League Day 2013.  Final score 3-2 after extra time



Ground Pix





Train driver must be a fan - he dawdled past the pitch!
Match Pix



That's Tornado in the yellow boots.



Something Random
Sentences Never Before Uttered in the History of Mankind #2 - #4
The current edition (Wed 4/9/13) of the Cornish Guardian gives us some lovely examples which also shed light on the nightmares of Cornish life ;)

“A car found on its roof in Lanivet had been bought earlier the same night and then driven by a banned driver who could remember nothing about the purchase.” (page 13)

“A man has been found guilty of assaulting a man while wearing a sequinned top and bottomless trousers on his Newquay stag night.” (page 12)

“A man from North Cornwall who has spent his life dining on animals killed on local roads has said culled badgers should be given to the public – so they can eat them.” (page 16)
Huddle Stats
No huddles today.

2013-14 Summary so far:

P
W
D
L
GF
GA
Pts
Pts per Game
Non-Huddlers
14
6
2
6
19
18
20
1.42
Huddlers
10
3
4
3
6
8
13
1.30

Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
We have St Blazey winning in grey and Ilfracombe losing in the revolting radioactive bile colour.  Grey beats bile this season so far!

Goalkeeper, railway signal and rambling passers-by getting some free football
2013-14 Summary so far:

P
W
D
L
CS(5pts)
GA(-1 each)
Pts
Pts per Game
Yellow
3
2
1
0
2
3
7
2.33
Grey
7
3
2
2
2
7
3
0.43
Green
5
2
0
3
1
7
-2
-0.40
Orange
1
0
0
0
0
1
-1
-1.00
Blue
2
0
1
1
0
2
-2
-1.00
Radioactive Bile
3
1
0
2
0
6
-6
-2.00
Pink
3
0
2
1
0
6
-6
-2.00

Hopping for Moorfields Update
Here, as promised, is a copy of the acknowledgement from Moorfields Eye Hospital that, thanks to your generous sponsorship, their research fund is over £1000 better off.  Thanks again.



What Next?
Follow @GrahamYapp on Twitter for announcements!  I expect to be at an FA Cup tie next weekend – but no-one knows where or why, even me.



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