Soccerboss - Living the Dream

Billy Bremner and Mick Jones of Leeds United in all white on the box lid

The Autobiographical Bit

I picked up Ariel's Soccerboss in good condition from a car boot sale a few years ago, to replace an original copy from my teenage years, which had long since evaporated, or whatever happens to neglected board games.  It brings back memories of childhood before the age of daytime TV and electronic entertainment, where it was a great alternative to geography homework (for example).  To be fair, it also brings back a fair few memories of argument and frustration and unfinished business – as I recall, most games at Yapp Towers tended to finish early due to curfew or everyone else except me leaving to do something else.  Such as having a life.

Soccerboss competed with Wembley, Soccerama, Subbuteo and Waddington’s Table Soccer in our household.  For me, it had one significant disadvantage.  You needed four players, minimum.  I hardly had three friends simultaneously at the best of times, and Yapp Towers did not have the space to accommodate four bulky teenagers and Bruce the resident German Shepherd Dog.  Most of my friends were terrified of Bruce anyway and never so much knocked on the door as shouted from the next street.  Plus, the little plastic players would not have been good for Bruce’s digestive system.  So full-length games of Soccerboss were very rare in practice.  The nearest we got was me and my brother running two teams each, usually refusing to trade with each other and selling all of one team’s decent players to our other more favoured team and a cup-final winner-takes-all dénouement.  Financial Fair Play it ain’t.

Soccerboss was marketed as a game of skill and promised you would “learn the problems of management”.  I would love to tell you that I applied my learning in later years as a headteacher, but other than “You can’t spend it if you haven’t got it!”, I am struggling.  The rules booklet makes the standard assumptions of its times, through its exclusive references to “he/him/his”, that the teenage girls would be engaged in other things like playing Heartthrob or running the country.  Or in 1970s West Bromwich, chugging Snowballs and Babycham in industrial quantity if memory serves me correctly. However, I digress – here’s the game stuff.

Step One: Read the Rules - cunningly disguised as a newspaper including a cheeky ad for "Wembley", also made by Ariel at that time

How it Worked

The game is set up for a league consisting of Arsenal, Tottenham, Manchester United, Liverpool, Celtic, Rangers, Notts Forest (sic, that must have annoyed them) and Sheffield Wednesday.  Who knows why they were chosen.  Our first action was usually to throw out Wednesday and replace them with West Bromwich Albion, before engaging in complex coin-tosses or rock-paper-scissors tournaments to decide who would manage the Baggies this time.

A certain number of players of each grade (yellow = international = 5pts, red = 4, blue = 3 and green = donkey = 1) were drawn randomly for each team at the start of the game.  To be honest, much of the final result was decided there and then.  If you drafted a pile of rubbish you would struggle.  The total points score of the 11 on the pitch determined which of the four dice you rolled for your team.  There was a 10-minute period allowed for transfers between each round of matches.  The indicative value of a yellow player was around £70,000, going down to £10,000 for the green makeweights.

Ah, the good old days of 2-3-5.  I have offloaded right-half and inside right ... but have a pile of rubbish on the bench.

... better hit the transfer market!

There are pre-match cards and match cards which in some ways function like Chance and Community Chest in Monopoly with a mixture of Good Things and Bad Things happening at random to your side.  Injuries and suspensions happen and your yellow centre-forward heads off into the sunset for anything up to four matches.  Gate receipts are connected to your position in the league.  There is a set fixture list, and you play a conventional league, and a knockout cup.  You can buy stands, which in effect count double value at the end of the game.  “The CUP FINAL is the last match of the season”, it says.  How quaint and olde-worlde that is.

Gamble !

The object of the game is to be Manager of the Year.  Winning the league is worth 5pts, the cup is worth 4 and being the best financially is worth 3.  Therefore you could win the game by winning the cup and being clever in the transfer market.

A little task for readers: what would be on the pre-match and match cards in a 2014 version of Soccerboss? “Your international centre forward bites his opponent and is suspended for 27 matches…” etc.  Over to you, enter by comment below or to @GrahamYapp on Twitter.  Keep it clean, this is a family website with an impressionable readership ;)

Other Modus Hopper Random Nostalgia

In case you don’t believe me about “Heartthrob”:

Apparently "Captain of the Football Team" is a Good Thing in Stereotypia

Wembley:

http://modushopperrandom.blogspot.co.uk/2011/06/diceman-goes-to-wembley.html

Soccerama:

http://modushopperrandom.blogspot.co.uk/2011/06/putting-drama-in-soccerama.html

... plus for dog-lovers, a rare pic of Bruce the GSD!

Hopping For Moorfields
If you have enjoyed this post and would like to make a donation to the research fund at Moorfields Eye Charity, then my previous post (link below, see FAQ3) will tell you how and why.  At the time of writing (30 July) I am collecting in the final few pledges and hope to send the final amount to Moorfields in mid-August.  We have raised around £800, but even £1.91 would sponsor me for a penny-a-goal for everything I saw in 2012-13 and get me closer to my original target of £1000.  Thank you in advance!

http://modushopperrandom.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/hopping-for-moorfields-call-for-payment.html

Putting the Drama in Soccerama

Soccerama is one of those games that many of us probably played for hours on end in search of the European Cup.  It dates from the late 60s, around the time that Celtic and Manchester United were securing British interest in the competition.  From a game design point of view, there is very little to it with hindsight.  It is a sort of snakes-and-ladders for soccer fans with other elements similar to Monopoly (The Penalty Cards and piles of cash) and Wembley (the is-he-playing-or-not star players worth a goal a game and the match dice).

My original fell apart and had craters in certain squares where my brother and I had smacked the markers down in frustration.  My current copy was a lucky purchase from eBay (there are plenty around) and the previous owner did nothing except ruin the box lid with sellotape.  It has never been played and all anachronistic penalty cards are in pristine condition.

After a couple of years, the makers (ASL) must have been successful in getting endorsement from Alan Ball of the England World Cup winning side.  His face and autograph appears on the box lid and he is quoted as saying it is, “The best game he ever played”.  He must have been easily pleased is all I am saying.  Please would the next person to interview him ask him about it.

How It Works

A time limit should be set at the start (there’s a good place to start arguing).  The players’ teams, represented by a marker but with no other club identity, make progress across the board by winning (move three spaces) and drawing (move one space) matches.  The result of each match is decided by the rolling of two conventional d6 dice, with the addition of one goal for every star player deemed to be playing.  Along the way, players receive gate money,  and other random things happen from time to time at the whim of the penalty cards or by the instructions on the square they land on.  The penalty cards are not all bad, and occasionally those that moved you on two squares or back one could be a brilliant stroke of good fortune, as explained below.

The object of the game is to accumulate points for winning things.  If, say, player A wins the fourth division title, he or she gets a card worth 2 points.  However, if player B subsequently wins the same title, they have to roll dice to see who keeps the card.  This could give odd results where the player promoted last of all actually wins those points as the other players are in higher divisions by then.

Frankly, in the higher divisions and the cup-competition tangents, the game descends into a series of gambles on deliberately trying to draw games so that you end up on the right sequence of squares.  For example, in the first division your first four wins give you £15k (square 3) , £7k (square 6) , £10k (square 9) and a penalty card (square 12).  The fifth win would land you on a “Go Back to 3” square and a potentially infinite loop.  So somewhere, you need to get a draw.  Not too soon though, because square 4 is relegation.  Square 7 forces you to sell a hard-earned star player.

Your problems are not over once you make it safely onto square 10.  Square 13 is a big cash bill for a new training area and square 22 fines you and sends you back to square 9.  Therefore, you need a second drawn game to get you on to the 11-14-17-20 sequence which will get you the runners-up spot and entry into Europe.  (Don’t get me started…)

If you are really lucky you will fluke another draw from either square 17 or 20 and end up with a win from square 21 to get you the coveted Division One title.  Occasionally a Penalty Card could be be helpful.

Winning the FA Cup or the European Cup will need some sort of similar convoluted sequence of wins and draws.  Therefore, the only real element of skill or judgement in the game is in remembering to remove the star players in certain matches.  For two conventional d6 dice, there are 6x6 = 36 possible outcomes when they are rolled.  Six of these (1-1,2-2,3-3,4-4,5-5,6-6) are draws, a one in six probability.  Playing one star player for an extra goal means that the 1-1 score is impossible and the chances of a draw are lessened, and even more so when playing two or three.  That is as geeky as this game gets, other than counting out money.

I have vague recollections of all-dayers with my brother in which neither of us got even near the European Cup.  We would spend the first hour or so getting up to the First Division and then the rest of the day yo-yoing up and down the league ladder in the hope of a drawn game.

Penalty Cards

These even lacked the quaint humour of the Chance and Community Chest in Monopoly.  Here is a sample:

• Pitch needs returfing, pay £3000
• Bad run.  Go back two places.
• Teamwork improves.  Have another throw.

Nostalgia Moments

• Four divisions
• No shirts numbered higher than 11
• Two-up and two-down
• Alan Ball (later editions only)

The Diceman Goes to Wembley

Ready to go in a two-player game

 

No sponsors on these shirts!

 "Wembley" was one of my treasured board games as a child, although my current Gibson’s copy has been cobbled together from a couple of car-boot-sale purchases after my original Ariel copy long since fell apart.  The artwork, and the choice of the 32 named teams in the game, varied over the years as the game was reissued, but the game mechanics were unchanged.  Spare cards and stickers were supplied so you could always add your favourite team into the mix.  West Brom, with their cup record up to the 70s, were safely installed in the top group.  A good and complete Wembley set will probably set you back about £50 on eBay these days, but there are quite a few spares around too.

On an educational note, I find it interesting that players of the target audience (ages 10-14 I imagine) are expected to be able to calculate the 2:1 ratios of amounts like £4500 for the gate money distribution without further help.  Slightly more arithmetic was needed for second replays – and all before the days of pocket calculators of course.  The probability calculations are not necessary for the game, as intuition and experience could be sufficient, but should be within the capabilities of a good key stage 3 pupil (Years 7-9 in the English school system).  Someday I might write about the cognitive benefits of traditional board games (as opposed to the first-person shoot ‘em-ups and the manipulative frenzy of the driving sims and platform games).

How It Works

Each player “owns” a random selection of teams and the objective is to be the owner of the team that wins the FA Cup.  Along the way, a player has to make decisions:

•           When to purchase “star” players (demand exceeds supply) and whether to risk them in the matches (because you lose them if you lose the match).  The star players in effect belong to the owner rather than any particular team.  They are worth one goal in each game – if playing.
•           Whether to try to get lower league teams through to the later rounds (for big cash bonuses to buy more star players), or to rely on the dice to carry one of the “big eight” through.
•           Occasionally, a chance arises to manipulate results or the draw if two of your own teams are drawn against each other.
•           The matches are decided with six dice (home and away for the three team categories) that weight the odds in favour of the First Division while allowing for the chance of a giant-killing.  Though the dice give a reasonable representation of home advantage and a big team wins the cup more often than not, the individual match scores are faintly ridiculous even by standards of the 60s and 70s!

Moments of Nostalgia

-          Second (or third, fourth ...) replays on neutral grounds - no penalty shootouts in sight

-          First, Second, Third and Fourth Divisions

-          Newport on the board, and Orient rather than Leyton Orient

-          A star goalie for £5k and a striker for £40k inclusive of hair transplant

Gratuitous Geeky Dice Tables

A lower division team such as Rochdale would have the blue die at home.  If drawn against Manchester United of Div One, the visitors would have the orange die.  Here’s the outcome table.

Rochdale v Manchester United

If neither owner chooses to play star players, the odds are as shown in the first table.

	0	1	2	3	3	4
0	0-0	0-1	0-2	0-3	0-3	0-4
0	0-0	0-1	0-2	0-3	0-3	0-4
1	1-0	1-1	1-2	1-3	1-3	1-4
2	2-0	2-1	2-2	2-3	2-3	2-4
4	4-0	4-1	4-2	4-3	4-3	4-4
5	5-0	5-1	5-2	5-3	5-3	5-4

Rochdale win 14 times out of 36 on average, or 39%.  The Draw occurs 5 out of 36 times, or 14%.  Man Utd win 17 times out of 36, or 47%.

Let’s imagine that Rochdale’s owner decides to risk a star goalkeeper.

	0	1	2	3	3	4
0+1	1-0	1-1	1-2	1-3	1-3	1-4
0+1	1-0	1-1	1-2	1-3	1-3	1-4
1+1	2-0	2-1	2-2	2-3	2-3	2-4
2+1	3-0	3-1	3-2	3-3	3-3	3-4
4+1	5-0	5-1	5-2	5-3	5-3	5-4
5+1	6-0	6-1	6-2	6-3	6-3	6-4

The probabilities now change to: Rochdale win 53% / Draw 14% / Man Utd win 28% which would mean a 67% chance of Rochdale not losing.

The Man Utd owner now has to decide whether to risk one star player (which would cancel out the opposing one and restore the original odds) or, for example, to throw two on to the table.

	0+2	1+2	2+2	3+2	3+2	4+2
0+1	1-2	1-3	1-4	1-5	1-5	1-6
0+1	1-2	1-3	1-4	1-5	1-5	1-6
1+1	2-2	2-3	2-4	2-5	2-5	2-6
2+1	3-2	3-3	3-4	3-5	3-5	3-6
4+1	5-2	5-3	5-4	5-5	5-5	5-6
5+1	6-2	6-3	6-4	6-5	6-5	6-6

This would give Rochdale win 25% / Draw 14% and Man Utd win 61%.  This is similar but not quite the same as would have happened if the Rochdale owner had played no stars and the Man Utd owner had played one, which would be:

	0+1	1+1	2+1	3+1	3+1	4+1
0	0-1	0-2	0-3	0-4	0-4	0-5
0	0-1	0-2	0-3	0-4	0-4	0-5
1	1-1	1-2	1-3	1-4	1-4	1-5
2	2-1	2-2	2-3	2-4	2-4	2-5
4	4-1	4-2	4-3	4-4	4-4	4-5
5	5-1	5-2	5-3	5-4	5-4	5-5

This also has Rochdale win 25%, Draw 14% and Man Utd win 61%.

I will leave the other calculations to you!

Die	Colour	Numbers on Die
Div 1 (H)	Red	0 1 2 3 4 4
Div 1 (A)	Orange	0 1 2 3 3 4
Div 2 (H)	Green	0 1 2 2 3 4
Div 2 (A)	Yellow	0 1 1 2 3 4
Div 3 / 4 (H)	Blue	0 0 1 2 4 5
Div 3 / 4 (A)	White	0 0 1 1 4 5

So here is a little competition.  No prize except Kudos and a retweet – send your answer to @GrahamYapp on Twitter.  What would be the chances of Brighton (Division Two) and their two star players, shockingly losing at home to a starless Bournemouth side (Div 3 / 4).

Meanwhile, let’s play …

In the final, West Bromwich beat Birmingham 4-0.  Just like when I played as a kid :)