The Only Way (to Spend Saturday Afternoon) is in Essex

It was Saturday, honest

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 26 April 2014 at Gardiners Close
Result	Basildon United 1 Great Wakering Rovers 4
Competition	Essex Senior League (Step 5)
Hopping	Ground #535 on the lifetime list, shortest journey for me today to a game with significance.
Pre-match preparation
If Great Wakering win, the title (and promotion to step 4) will be secured.  Anything less and Haringey Borough could overtake them with a win, as (mathematically) could Enfield.  The latter would also need a massive goal swing and favourable results at BOTH other matches.  Basildon United are in mid-table but seem to have had some internal upheaval recently – they failed to fulfil a recent fixture and there has been a change of chairman and manager.  Post-match addition: I have also seen a tweet, from before kick-off, saying a sarcastic “thank you” to “players that let us down today”.  Bet that would have gone down well in Haringey and Enfield …
This match in one sentence
GWR overcame early nerves and gave a dominant performance, so that the destination of this divisional title was never in doubt.
So what?
GWR will have step 4 football next season, almost certainly in the Isthmian League.  Basildon will finish in the top half of the table.
The drama unfolds
The early pressure came from the visitors, and I took two clips to set the scene in the first fifteen minutes.  Basildon are in yellow-and-black, and doing lots of defending. The opening goal came from Billy Johnson.  He broke free of the defenders and reached a diagonal ball just before George Walsh in the home goal.  This would calm the nerves.  0-1 after 22 mins Opening goalscorer Billy Johnson Great Wakering started to pass the ball better in the final third and a neat move down the left created the space and angle for Jay Nash to fire past Walsh into the far corner.  0-2 after 34 mins Celebration time, come on!  Jay Nash gets the 'grats. Before half-time, a route one free-kick was headed against the Basildon bar but shortly afterwards this was forgotten as Walsh failed to cut out a left-wing cross and Lewis Sparrow headed in from close range.  This looked like game over and title decided.  0-3 after 42 mins Basildon offered very little except a couple of long range shots.  Adam Seal in the visiting goal had nothing much to do.  0-3 at halftime The game quickly settled into the same pattern in the second half.  Walsh made a very good one handed save, but was then lucky shortly afterwards as a clearance was charged down only for the ball to bounce just wide.  Great Wakering then clipped the bar – it was one-way traffic and the wind seemed to be increasingly helpful too.  The fourth goal came when Walsh pushed away a long-range shot by Johnson but only to Nash, who had an easy tap-in.  0-4 after 71 min Greg Akpele got a consolation goal for Basildon on the break after Great Wakering had lost the ball on the edge of the area and argued among themselves about it.  He deserved that for the enthusiasm and dedication of his performance.  1-4 after 79 mins Akpele then brought the best out of Seal, forcing him to make a magnificent one-handed save almost immediately afterwards.  The unlikely comeback was snuffed out and Great Wakering were home and dry with no further alarms.  A trophy duly appeared, and Basildon formed a classy guard of honour as the victors left the field.  Final score 1-4
Ground Pix
That is "The Onion" in the background, a water tower. Plenty of travelling support today. The GWR mascot had a relaxed afternoon ... not too many of these at Step 5!
Match Pix
Huddle Stats
Both teams huddled today, though Great Wakering’s was borderline with almost no touchy-feeliness about it.  Basildon went for the full man-cuddle experience.  It appears from the season stats that it makes no difference whatsoever. 2013-14 Summary so far: P W D L GF GA Pts Pts per Game Non-Huddlers 15 6 4 5 18 14 22 1.47 Huddlers 29 13 3 13 45 48 42 1.45 Twin Huddlers 1 0 1 0 2 2 1 1.00 2nd Half Huddlers 1 0 0 1 1 2 0 0.00
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
Basildon have classic green while Great Wakering bring a vibrant red. 2013-14 Summary so far: 3pts for a win, 1pt for a draw, -1pt for a goal conceded and +5pts for a clean sheet P W D L GA (-1 each) CS (5 each) Pts Pts per Game Purple 1 1 0 0 0 1 8 8.00 Grey 12 7 2 3 13 5 35 2.92 Red 3 2 0 1 3 1 8 2.67 Green 10 5 0 5 15 2 10 1.00 Yellow 4 1 1 2 8 1 1 0.25 Orange 3 1 1 1 6 0 -2 -0.67 Radioactive Bile 3 1 0 2 6 0 -3 -1.00 Pink 7 1 3 3 16 0 -10 -1.43 Blue 3 0 1 2 6 0 -5 -1.67
What Next?
Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!

Hello Buoys and Gulls

 I am writing this on the morning of the declaration of GCSE results – good luck to any of my readers that are involved with that (either as a recipient or professionally).  May all your grades be +EV.

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Wednesday 21 August 2013 at Southchurch Park Arena
Result	Southend Manor 1 Basildon United 2
Competition	FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round Replay.  Both sides play at step 5 in the Essex Senior League
Hopping	Number 518 on the lifetime list, and as Twitter followers will know, this is because the first goal in Monday’s PL game between Manchester City and Newcastle came in the 6th minute.  Other outcomes could have sent me to Epsom & Ewell, Hamworthy, Kirby Muxloe or Worthing Utd this evening but David Silva has decided that I must come to Essex.
Pre-match preparation
It finished 2-2 between these two sides last Saturday.  Manor took the lead in the first half but ultimately needed an 86th minute equaliser to bring the tie back for a home replay.  League table positions would suggest that United would be disappointed with that – they have won both games so far, whereas Manor are still seeking their first win.  To be fair, there was reasonable pre-match coverage in the back pages of the Southend Echo, who billed the game as a potential “barnstormer”.
This match in one sentence
A keenly contested game on a hard and dry pitch that was settled by a rather soft goal.
So what?
Basildon United progress to play Heybridge Swifts in the next round at the end of the month.
The drama unfolds
On a bouncy, dry pitch, both teams took a while to settle into any sort of pattern and the ball spent a fair amount of time out of anyone’s control.  Manor keeper Lawrence Priddle was a bit lucky when he cleared straight to an attacker after 7 mins, but the time taken to control the bouncy ball allowed a defender to recover.  The first real chance came at the other end after 17 minutes, Kye Jude fired narrowly over from short range after a neat corner routine.  Basildon replied with a jinky run and shot from Greg Akpele but Priddle was in the right place to make the save.  To be honest, it wasn’t a great spectacle thus far and no barns had been stormed. Then, out of nowhere, the ball fell for Manor’s Mark Sisson to burst through for a one-on-one.  Steve Brown blocked the initial shot but the rebound hit Sisson and trickled over the line.  1-0 after 33 minutes They nearly added a second as Jamie Williams dropped deep to lose his marker and create a shooting chance.  However, it was Basildon who equalised just before the break, again the chance arising out of nothing much, and Isaac Aubynn smacking the ball into the net.  1-1 after 43 mins and at halftime Manor’s speedy wingmen, Gbavalena Waiwaiku on the right and Yaw Danso on the left, continued to threaten when balls were played over the defensive line.  They were looking more likely to score when I took my scene-setting clip on the hour mark.  Therefore, of course, the clip ends with Basildon’s winning goal at the other end.  It was an easy chance in the end for Greg Akpele.  Manor are in the yellow and black.  1-2 after 62 minutes Manor’s challenge rather faded away.  James Braithwaite was unlucky with a shot straight at the keeper, and they had a reasonable appeal for a penalty turned down, but Basildon’s defence coped well enough and they had plenty of the ball in the closing minutes as they got themselves through to the next round.  Final score 1-2
Ground Pix
Match Pix
Something Random
Here is something else of a juvenile nature for this blog.  A typical Essex gull.
Huddle Stats
No huddles, so we learn nothing new.  Southend Manor had a sort of informal last-minute get-together before the start of the second half, but it lacked the physical commitment of a proper huddle so I have not included it in the stats. 2013-14 Summary so far: P W D L GF GA Pts Pts per Game Non-Huddlers 8 4 2 2 12 9 14 1.75 Huddlers 4 1 0 3 3 6 3 0.75
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
Admittedly slightly different shades, but both keepers today turned out in green. 2013-14 Summary so far: P W D L CS(5pts) GA(-1 each) Pts Pts per Game Yellow 3 2 1 0 2 3 7 2.33 Green 4 2 0 2 1 6 -1 -0.25 Grey 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 -1.00 Orange 1 0 0 0 0 1 -1 -1.00 Radioactive Bile 1 0 0 2 0 2 -2 -2.00 Pink 2 0 1 1 0 5 -5 -2.50
Hopping for Moorfields Update
Cheques totalling £819.30 are winging their way to Moorfields imminently.  When an element of Gift Aid is added to part of this, the final total for the charity will be £933.11.  This will go to help fund leading-edge research into a variety of eye conditions.  Well done, everyone, and thank you again.  I will publish the acknowledgement in due course.
What Next?
Follow @GrahamYapp on Twitter for announcements!  If I can complete GCSE-related duties in time, the plan is to head for Wivenhoe Town v Ipswich Wanderers on Thursday.  At the time of writing (7.30am), I’d say the chances are 50:50.