United We Hop

The seven games of the 2022-3 United Counties League groundhop will get plenty of internet coverage. Each game had around 250-350 spectators, many of them engaging in traditional hopper behaviour with their typical hopper accessories. Including me. Thanks to the organisers, of course, to Nottingham University for the accommodation and breakfasts, and to the clubs, all of which made an effort to be welcoming. Here’s my brief take on the weekend, with the only original contribution coming from #keepertopcolourstats, which is now up to 244 games in the sample and a result prediction success rate that would be as good as tossing a coin. For all the clubs involved, this was the first game of the new league season so there are no league tables to concern us.

Match 1: Lutterworth Town 3 Rothwell Corinthians 2

Ground: Dunley Way

Scran (my current favourite word) Highlight: home-made chili

Arrived slightly late on a replacement coach having spent a bit of time lurking behind the barriers of the M1 when the first one broke down. Lutterworth bossed the first half and took a 3-0 lead with a free kick, a penalty and a dipping shot. Corinthians came back strongly with frantic route one launches of the ball from the keeper. They scored twice and had a couple disallowed and will wonder what might have been had they turned up earlier.

Keepertopcolourstats: Green unexpectedly beats Red.

Match 2: Birstall United Social 4 Saffron Dynamo 0

Ground: Meadow Lane

Scran Highlight: some beer this time. Does beer count as scran? May need a ruling on that.

Players were already getting a bit tetchy before a red card was shown to a home defender (correctly in my view, I was in line, close to the assistant) for denial of a goal-scoring opportunity, with the score at 1-0. This seemed to spur the hosts on, and the ref could easily and probably should have added to the card count. Birstall added a second before the interval and dominated the second half too. The third goal was a close-range volley after a neat move down the left, and the fourth was a run from half-way. A missed penalty for Dynamo summed up their day. Josh Crossley deserves a name-check as he gets all four goals on his debut to open his account for the season.

Keepertopcolourstats: Pink unexpectedly beats Grey and keeps a clean sheet too.

Match 3: Barrow Town 1 Radford 5

Ground: Riverside Park

Scran Highlight: home-made sweet-and-sour chicken with chips

The Barrow keeper was struggling early on with a leg injury before Radford’s first goal went in, at the end of a very slick passing move. He was immediately replaced, and the new custodian soon needed to push away a direct freekick only to see the visitors score from the rebound. For some reason he pushed an opponent to the ground and was correctly dismissed before half-time. Radford added two more goals before getting a well-taken consolation, only to concede a fifth after a very good first touch by a substitute.

Keepertopcolourstats: A spreadsheet scrambler. Barrow’s starting keeper in Green went off injured after three-tenths of the game, and was replaced by the substitute wearing Black. The sub keeper was sent off for mindless violence just before half-time, but the Black keeper top stayed on, just with a new occupant. It’s a clear premise of all this that the top matters more than the human incumbent, so it’s 0.7 of a game for Black. The visiting Grey top takes the win points.

Match 4: Holwell Sports 3 Hucknall United 3

Ground: Welby Road

Scran Highlight: Jacket Potato with butter and cheese

The well-known name of Craig Westcarr was added to the records as he headed Hucknall into the lead, which became 0-2 before half-time. Holwell pulled one back in the second half before two more goals were scored in quick succession, one for each side. Both sides were still showing attacking intent with the score at 2-3, and it was the home team who got the equaliser. Fair play to Holwell, but Hucknall should probably have been able to close the game out.

Keepertopcolourstats: Grey at both ends so even at 1-3 I was confidently predicting the draw.

Match 5: Melton Town 2 Selston 0

Ground:  Melton Sports Village

Scran Highlight: Melton Mowbray pork pie and Stilton cheese

I’d reached the obligatory Trading Groundhopping Tales stage of the event so my report here is short on detail. It was a deserved win for the home side, with a goal in each half. The Sports Village is a work in progress but it will soon be a very, very good venue for this level.

Keepertopcolourstats: Grey beats Green as expected and keeps a clean sheet too.

Match 6: Leicester Nirvana 1 Belper United 0

Ground: Hamilton Park

Scran Highlight: home-made chicken biriyani (I just couldn’t make room for any the magnificent cake also on offer)

The hosts’ catering was better quality than the game itself, which looked destined to be 0-0 for long periods. Jordan Nelson missed a second half penalty for Nirvana before Martin Smyth’s was saved at the other end. The breakthrough finally came in the last few minutes when Nelson had a second chance from the spot, and this time he put it away.

Keepertopcolourstats: Radioactive Bile takes the unexpected win and clean sheet, beating Blue.

 

Match 7: St Andrews 2 West Bridgford 1

Ground: Canal Street

Scran Highlight: I needed coffee and lots of it by this point.

After an even but relatively uneventful first half, St Andrews eventually take the points due to two goals from direct free kicks. The winner came very late, and in between West Bridgford had deservedly equalised. They will probably feel that they deserved a draw.

Keepertopcolourstats: Orange gets a surprise victory over Purple. That means three correct and four incorrect predictions for the weekend, keeping the average success rate at 48%.

 

What Next?

I will be looking for some FA Cup action next weekend. I have one Step 3 (Plymouth Parkway) and 25 Step 4 grounds on my new Priority List. But before that something new for me … my eldest granddaughter likes the world of gym and dance so it’s off to Birmingham with her on Tuesday for some Artistic Gymnastics at the Commonwealth Games. Scran, or maybe Snap in this case, will undoubtedly make an appearance too.

Closing Remarks: You would be correct to infer that the reason for my absence from groundhopping for much of the second half of last season was because of coronavirus. I remain dismayed by the prevalence of deliberately provocative and misleading coverage of the current risks in many mainstream and social media sources. It is now genuinely very difficult for UK citizens to make informed choices about lifestyle and vaccination choices unless you have enough inside knowledge to know where to look. The vast majority of people have been forced into doing what “feels right” for them. Some of them get lucky and some don’t. The government have been utterly incompetent in devising fair and workable guidance, and they have done next to nothing in my professional world (education) except stoke up a culture of blaming schools and teachers. I’m a scientist by background, and my reappearance here cannot be taken as a sign that I now believe the pandemic is over. Not yet, it isn’t. We still need to be vigilant and careful whilst trying to get on with life, the universe and everything.

An update on the #keepertopcolourstats table is here. As ever, thanks for your interest!