Friday, 5 November 2010

Sausage Sandwich Decision Time

I’m heading West on Saturday, but my match will be decided by the random outcome of a radio programme.  I love Danny Baker’s show on BBC 5 Live, which has kept me company on many a ‘hopping journey.  The news this week that Danny is fighting against cancer has inspired today’s methodology.  Get well soon, Danny, we miss you.

Most footy fans will know about his Sausage Sandwich Game.  I have no idea who the celebrity guest can be, but he or she only has three options for the final question.  I will be listening in somewhere on the M3 westbound.

If the celebrity guest prefers RED sauce, I am off to Dorchester Town v Bishop’s Stortford in the step 2 Conference South.

If he/she prefers BROWN sauce, I am off to Tiverton Town v Hednesford Town in the step 3 Southern League Premier.

If he/she prefers NO SAUCE AT ALL, I will be at Frome Town v Clevedon Town in the step 4 Southern League Division 1 S&W.

CATCH-ALL – if the Sausage Sandwich Game does not take place, the celebrity is an unco-operative vegetarian, or a weirdo who mixes both sauces on one sandwich, then I will head for Lymington Town v Bournemouth Poppies in the step 5 Wessex Premier League.

Other sandwiches are available.  The value of your cholesterol levels can go both up and down.  Bread options to be discussed at a later date.  The use of Marmite in a sausage sandwich will lead to immediate arrest and deportation in accordance with the Good Taste (Pre-Match Refreshment) Act 2010 which I have just made up.

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