Points Taken Away from Adders

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 23 January 2011 at Sheepy Road, Atherstone
Result	Atherstone Town 1  Hitchin Town 3
Competition	Southern League D1 Central (Step 4)
Hopping	Venue #367 after a hopping break of 11 days caused by an Ofsted inspection at my new place of work.  I rolled a 6 on a pentagonal trapezohedron to choose this from ten interesting fixtures.  I live in Hitchin so this is a rare chance for me to get off the fence of neutrality.
This match in one sentence
A straightforward win after an early fright for the league leaders, with more than a hint of slapstick because of the underfoot conditions.
This match summed up in the style of: an Ofsthop report (The only reasonable choice for me this week – for my overseas readers, Ofsted is the government agency that inspects schools and childcare, so it seems only reasonable that I should invent Ofsthop for groundhoppers.)
Overall effectiveness: how good was the game? 3 (satisfactory) Hitchin Town’s capacity for sustained improvement: 2 (good) Main findings: Hitchin Town is a good club.  This represents a continuation of the level of attainment from last season.  Written comments in the press and through fans’ forums confirm that observers are satisfied with recent progress.  Attendance is well above average. What does the club need to do to improve further? Ensure that automatic promotion is achieved this season at the expense of local rivals Arlesey Town. Outcomes for individuals and groups Three of the top five goalscoring individuals in the division are from the club.  This is because of an attacking style of play and a creative midfield team leading to a succession of chances that are finished well.  The defence, including the goalkeeper, is competent and has usually been effective enough to play its part in a number of handsome victories. How effective is the provision? Effective action was taken to secure the appointment of replacements for leavers at the end of last season, both in the playing and non-playing staff.  The teamwork is excellent and the level of banter both from players and spectators is good.  Players seem aware of the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and there was no evidence of hangovers or excessive pie-eating during the inspection. How effective are leadership and management? The manager (Mr C Williams) has many years of service at the club although his promotion to the headship is recent.  His deputy (Mr M Burke) is similarly experienced and committed.  They make good use of opportunities to advise players on matters of positioning in language that they can understand.  Mr I Lewis will be further motivated by their thoughts on what will happen to him if he misses another gilt-edged heading opportunity. Views of supporters The club has met the needs of supporters by regularly banging in more goals than the opposition.  It is generally agreed that the club is better placed than at the same time last season, when a close race with Bury Town ended in disappointment.  Supporters, whilst enjoying the novelty of travel to new places in step 4, are now anxious to return to step 3 and a return to the Southern (or even Isthmian) Premier League.
So what?
Hitchin are 20 points clear of the team in third, and local rivals Arlesey are 13 points behind in second, but with two games in hand.  In some ways this was a meaningless fixture for Atherstone, who are voluntarily dropping to step 5 next season for financial reasons.  At the moment they sit just below mid-table.
The drama unfolds
Hitchin hit the sidenetting in the first minute and Ieuan Lewis missed what looked like an easy header.  However, Atherstone took the lead on 10 minutes with a neat finish from Simeon Smith, while defenders appealed for offside.  All I can say it that it must have been close.  0-1. Hitchin’s keeper Martin Bennett then had to save well from Smith again before the equaliser.  Hitchin had already had a goal disallowed for offside before Zak Burke hit the back of the net after 25 minutes after good work by strike partner John Frendo.  1-1. After 31 minutes, Howell’s neat through ball allowed man-of-the-match Burke in for a cool finish, and the rest of the half (as shown in the first two clips) comprised Hitchin attacks in the mud and sawdust.  1-2 at half-time. After 55 minutes, with Atherstone under increasing pressure, a deft chip by Mark Smith allowed Louis Lee to crash a short-range volley into the top of the net.  Although Bennett was needed to make one more decent save, Hitchin came closest to scoring a fourth – Callum Donnelly hit the bar, for example – but they were probably guilty of over-elaborating in search of the hat-trick goal for Burke.  They played the last 15 minutes at training ground pace and were never seriously extended once they had the lead.  Final score 1-3. The third and fourth clips, from later in the game, also capture the spectator telephone traffic between Atherstone and spies at Arlesey (who went behind to Barton Rovers before coming back for a win) and some banter with Atherstone’s giant goalkeeper, Courtney Belford.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Atherstone
Find eleven overpaid Premier League prima donnas and invite them to a game of “historic significance” in the town on Shrove Tuesday.  Technically, you would not be lying to them.  Just before kick-off (well, actually, the heavy leather ball is thrown down from a window on to the High Street) explain to them that they are up against hundreds of locals, there are no rules or goals (other than they cannot kill an opponent) and it’s quite understandable that traffic has been diverted and all the shop windows boarded up.
A snippet from the programme
Simeon Smith, at 27, is the elder statesman in the Atherstone side in the present circumstances, with the rest of the team lining up in the 19-21 range.  The programme says that he is, “fans favourite and top scorer.  The talisman striker is a handful for any defence.  Works tirelessly for the team on the pitch and is a great character in the dressing room and around the club.  Has had plenty of interest from other clubs but continues to stay loyal to the Adders’ cause.”
What next?
Hopefully back to normal routine and a midweek hop on Tuesday.

Top Ten Decision Time

Modus Hopper Random’s Personal Top Ten for 22 January

Number	Competition	Fixture
1	Northern Premier, Step 3	Ossett T v Colwyn Bay
2	Southern Premier, Step 3	Hednesford T v Banbury T
3	Isthmian Premier, Step 3	Folkestone Inv v Harrow Boro
4	Northern  D1N, Step 4	Chorley v Wakefield
5	Northern  D1S, Step 4	Barwell v Shepshed D
6	Southern D1 Central, Step 4	Atherstone T v Hitchin T
7	Southern D1 S&W, Step 4	Totton v Sholing
8	Isthmian D1 North, Step 4	Needham Mkt v East Thurrock U
9	Isthmian D1 South, Step 5	Whyteleafe v Bognor Regis T
0	FA Vase Round 4	Bloxwich U v Torpoint Ath

There are no games for me at unvisited step 2 grounds this weekend, but there are some cracking fixtures around the country.  The table above contains a personal pick from ten competitions, for a variety of reasons.  It's an overdue return to randomness this weekend as you will see in the clip below.  Sorry for the dodgy lighting and occasional stumble (and never mind the lack of makeup and haircare) - these are unrehearsed single-take genuine rituals that decide which hoppertunity will be selected.  Come and say hello if you see me there!  I am usually the one with a green woolly hat who tends to wander round with a small camera in one hand and some health food product comfort food in the other.

I am really looking forward to this one after an Ofsted-enforced break last weekend.

Not a grrrrrrrrreat night for Tigers

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Tuesday 11 January 2011 at the Recreation Ground
Result	Colney Heath 3 Kingsbury London Tigers 1
Competition	South Midlands Premier League Cup QF
Hopping	Venue #366, chosen because I live 20 minutes away!
This match in one sentence
A closely fought encounter, played at pace, with a critical period just after half-time as a red card for the visitors was followed by the home side’s second goal.
This match summed up in the style of: a three-part lesson plan (Passing Ofsted inspectors and my friends from the wacky world of education will understand …)
Aim: to win the competition and entertain the supporters. Objective: to secure a place in the semi-final and get revenge over KLT for last season. Starter (15 minutes): get stuck in from the kickoff, put the officials under incessant pressure, and gain an early lead. Development (75 minutes): hold the lead.  If opposition equalise, repeat attacking play until lead regained.  Observe with amusement as opposition argue among themselves. Plenary (2 minutes): add insult to injury by getting another goal in stoppage time. Homework: icepack application as necessary.  Practise ways of questioning decisions without being booked for dissent. Evaluation: Job done.  Objective secured and aim still appropriate.
So what?
Colney Heath go forward into the semi-finals, having despatched Hadley and Oxhey Jets away from home in the two previous rounds.  They will play at home in the semi-final against Hillingdon Borough, who beat Dunstable 4-1 this evening.
The drama unfolds
Colney Heath players and management screamed for an early penalty but only got a corner, which lead to a frantic minute of play and a goal for Ashwood (or was it Ashton?) after three blocked shots. 1-0.  However, the equaliser from Barinovas came before the break and the score of 1-1 at half-time was fair enough, I thought. The decisive moments were early in the second half.  A second yellow card for a KLT player allowed the home side to use the full width of the pitch and assert themselves.  They were looking the more likely to score, but KLT were defending well until Ashton (or was it Ashwood?) hit an unstoppable screamer from about 25 yards.  He may even have intended it, we will never know.  2-1. Visiting heads dropped somewhat at that point and there were several angry exchanges between teammates.  Nevertheless KLT created a few half-chances as they pushed forward in desperation and it was not until the 92nd minute that the Colney Heath #11 unselfishly laid the ball across goal for substitute King (I think) to finish.  It’s fair to say that the home players were pleased with this result.  They lost on penalties to KLT in last year’s competition and they will have high hopes of reaching the final and even of winning it.  Final score 3-1. A few video clips appear below.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in nearby St Albans
Go on a pub crawl in St Albans (warning – there are rather a lot of them) and finish up at The Horn, well known for its support of local musicians, where there will no doubt be some post-hardcore deathmetal quasi-punk neo-unclassifiable experimental band to rattle your fillings.
A snippet from the programme
“Colney Heath FC are currently enjoying their highest ever senior position since they were formed in 1907 but we need your help.  We need more supporters and more importantly we need new supporters.  Please come and watch your local team, the second highest-ranked team in the St Albans and Harpenden district.”
What I learned today
The chairman of Colney Heath turns out to be none other than Martin Marlborough, who recognised me straightaway as a former headteacher for his children.  We chatted about the need for constant fundraising for a club to keep going at this level.  Martin pointed out to me that another former Beaumont School lad, Jamie Eames, was wearing the #7 shirt for the club.  He had a very decent game.  (Best wishes too for the forthcoming wedding to another former pupil, Matt Beswick, whom I bumped into in the car park before the game!)
What Next?
Can’t promise, but a foray into the Essex Senior League might be on tonight (Wednesday).

Peacocks Get Feathers Ruffled

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Sunday 9 January 2011 at Garden Walk
Result	Gornal Athletic 0 Runcorn Town 3
Competition	An FA Vase Third Round tie between two sides having decent seasons in step 6.  Gornal Athletic are from the West Midlands Regional Premier and Runcorn Town are from the North West Counties Division One.
Hopping	I am here because this game was moved to a Sunday and @Gornal_AFC let us all know in plenty of time on Twitter.  I am now the proud owner of a Peacocks scarf – thanks for your hospitality!
This match in one sentence
Much closer than the scoreline suggests, as Runcorn Town grabbed a critical goal just before half-time and then defended stoutly before adding two very late breakaway goals as Gornal were forced to leave space at the back.
This match summed up in the style of: Aynuck (the archetypal Black Country Mon)
Yo wor ‘alf lucky, Runcorn – good job yo’ got defenders built loik outhouses, ay it?  Them Gornal players all worked very ‘ard loik, but the Runcorn keeper’s jumper wor dirty enuff at the end.  Good luck to yer in the next rahnd, lads.  Now, where’s me scratchins?
So what?
Runcorn Town progress into the last 32 of the competition, as the sole representatives from the North West Counties League.  They will play either Dunston UTS (from the step 5 Northern League D1) or Heather St Johns (leaders of the step 6 Midlands Combination Premier Division).
The drama unfolds
The first quarter was pretty even.  Gornal always had good approach play, and their best chance came from a header which smacked back off the crossbar.  Runcorn, for their part, forced a series of corners.  Just when a goalless first half looked likely, an inswinging corner from the right was met by midfielder Ian Robinson who powered in an unstoppable header.  0-1 at half-time. The crossbar keeps the score at 0-0 The second half saw wave after wave of Gornal attacks, with the visitors looking dangerous on the counter.  The Town back line did an excellent job of protecting their ‘keeper, and this result was really secured in defence.  Eventually substitute Carey got a second and decisive goal for Runcorn Town in the 81st minute and there was time for one more to be walked in by another sub, Adegbenro, as Gornal went for broke.  A harsh scoreline, but these things happen in cup-tie football.  Final score 0-3.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in nearby Dudley
Spend the morning shortening your vowels at the Black Country Museum, then take your pet canary down into the coal mining exhibit to help it understand that living conditions for juvenile canaries are so much better these days.
A snippet from the programme
The one downside of the day – other commitments meant that I arrived only shortly before KO so the print run had sold out.  I consoled myself with a bag of authentic pork scratchings with wholemeal monosodium glutamate.
What I learned today
Garden Walk is a hidden gem in the Black Country.  Sitting in a kind of natural amphitheatre, spectators have the choice between touchline closeness or lofty supervision.  Hopefully the video clips below give you a sense of the occasion (and Runcorn Town’s defensive solidity!).
What Next?
Tuesday Night is 'Hopping Night!  Watch this space ...

Some clips to give you a feel for the match and the venue ...

Doughboys Rising Up

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 8 January 2011 at The Dog & Duck
Result	Wellingborough Town 2004 3 Long Buckby 2
Competition	United Counties Premier League (Step 5)
Hopping	Venue #364. I am here because of an early Twitter confirmation by @WoroTownFC that this game was on, the club’s first since 14 December!
This match in one sentence
Fuelled by the perceived injustice of an early penalty given against them, the home side asserted themselves for a great win against their higher-placed visitors.
This match summed up in the style of: John Motson
This five-goal thriller in step 5 of the English non-league structure takes the average number of goals per competitive fixture at this ground this season to exactly 3.5, oh yes. Heh heh.  Michael Boyle-Chong became the first player with a “double”-barrelled surname to score in separate fixtures covered by this blog, taking his tally to “double” figures for the season.
So what?
Wellingborough Town stay in 15th but have games in hand on every team above them, and the top half of the table looks a realistic ambition.  Long Buckby’s second defeat in a row means that they stay 3rd for now but are now unlikely to feature in the final race for the title as St Neots Town tighten their grip on the division.
The drama unfolds
I was right at the other end of the ground when the ref awarded Long Buckby an early penalty to general amazement.  Their attacker was running away from the goal and, according to those nearby, either fell over his own feet and/or the incident was outside the area anyway.  I will never know but the penalty was smacked straight down the middle by Richard Bunting. 0-1. This kind of thing happened a lot in the first half The home side briefly looked in danger of going down to a heavy defeat but gradually got into the game and just before half-time a shot by Michael Boyle-Chong pinged in off the woodwork for a deserved equaliser.  1-1 at HT. Wellingborough took the lead with a cool finish from striker Jason Turner, who has scored in 5 of the last 6 matches. 2-1.  As Long Buckby searched for the equaliser (and to be fair, very nearly had one as several last-ditch blocks in succession kept them out), Simon Underwood popped up from centre-back with an unchallenged header from a set piece.  3-1. Noisy, happy Doughboys on the far side of the main stand Dan Quigley got one back almost immediately, and after a frantic five minutes Wellingborough held on comfortably enough for the last five. Final score 3-2.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Wellingborough
Sneak out of your hotel at night and paint a sequence of white footprints along the High Street with a message “I must fly again” at the end.  This is best done in the early hours of 1 April and the locals will be pleased because it has not happened since 1959.
A snippet from the programme
A “Meet the Player” page for Paul “Smudger” Smith reveals that he is 29 and unmarried with no tattoos or piercings, that he drives a Honda Civic Type R and that although honest, he can be moody.  He likes watching anything with cooking on TV.
What I learned today
The club’s nickname of The Doughboys comes from a local delicacy called Ock n’Dough.  If you were to call it Hock and Dough you would immediately reveal yourself as a foreigner.
Something random
No prawn sandwiches round here ... An icon of beauty. The Mona Lisa of burgers. It was unprecedented in my experience to be presented with such a vast menu for a step 5 fixture, and so of course I simply had to tackle a Belly Buster in the public interest.  For the record, it was delicious, and I will probably be hungry again round about Tuesday or Wednesday.  Thanks to burger monster Haydn who watched with good humour as I photographed his creation.