Nessun Dorma in St Ives

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 28 December 2013 at ProEdge Westwood Road
Result	St Ives Town 4 Ashford Town (Mdx) 0
Competition	Southern League Division One Central (Step 4)
Hopping	Number 529 on the lifetime list, at the first club within travelling distance to declare “game definitely on” on my Twitter feed this morning.
Pre-match preparation
St Ives are in mid-table in their first season at this level, and Ashford Town are bottom of the division.
This match in one sentence
St Ives took their chances and lasted the distance on a very heavy pitch – the win was straightforward but maybe not as comfortable as the scoreline suggests.
So what?
Order is preserved – St Ives will survive in Step 4 but Ashford Town (along with Chertsey Town) are now very detached from the pack.
The drama unfolds
The Ashford defence were looking into the low sun for the first half.  The first goal was a neat header from a curling free-kick – Lee Ellison the scorer and Jon Stead the provider from the right wing.  1-0  after 5 mins I took my scene-setter clip in the shadow of one of the floodlight posts to try to get the correct exposure levels. Avelino Viera caused problems for the Ashford defence all afternoon, often initiating attacks from the right-wing.  He provided the assist for the second goal, a header for Karl Gibbs.  2-0 after 21 mins The home side were in complete control of the game.  They had a third goal disallowed for a push, and there was a narrow escape for Ashford when the ball bounced randomly around the six-yard box.  However, the visitors finished the half strongly and had two half-chances just before the whistle.  2-0 at half-time Viera had an early second-half chance but Ashford’s keeper Tyler Tobin did well to block the fierce shot.  Ashford then had a chance of their own after a slip in midfield on the worsening pitch.  Barney McLaughin was forced into a full-length save and gathered the ball at the second attempt.  Both sides created and missed a number of chances in an end-to-end game.  Jon Stead certainly should have scored one, but he was not the only player to fire high and/or wide.  Viera continued to be central to the best St Ives moves. Ellison was left injured in the penalty area after one attack, and with the crowd yelling at the ref for ignoring a head injury, the physio was eventually called on – to treat his ankle after all.  Who’d be a ref?  Shortly afterwards, Viera got his goal, a tap-in after a decisive move down the left.  3-0 after 80 mins There was time for one more, a deft finish by Dan Banister as Ashford rather faded.  St Ives deserved their win, for sure, but Ashford really should have got themselves on the scoresheet.  4-0 after 87 mins and at full-time Thanks to the St Ives Town Twitter feed for helping with player identification.
Ground Pix
For my GCSE Science/Chemistry pupil stalkers (I know you are out there) – note this fine example of galvanising – placing a sacrificial layer of zinc on to the iron beneath in order to protect the valuable floodlight posts from rusting.  The thin layer of zinc often shows up as a “spangled” crystalline layer which is an indication of the regular arrangement of the zinc atoms in the metallic structure.  For a grade A you need to be able to explain why zinc is chosen for this particular task, and why metals have classic "metallic" properties such as strength, and conduction of electricity.  I keep telling you, science is all around you.  So is Latin - see below.  "Sudore non Supore" means "by labour, not (by) sleep" and is an exemplary use of the ablative case.  Might adopt this as the motto for my revision lessons next term ...
Match Pix
Huddle Stats
No huddling today. 2013-14 Summary so far: P W D L GF GA Pts Pts per Game Non-Huddlers 21 9 3 9 31 31 30 1.42 Huddlers 12 4 4 4 9 9 16 1.33 Twin Huddlers 1 0 1 0 2 2 1 1.00
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
The St Ives’ keeper wore green and Ashford Town’s wore yellow.  The two colours swap places in the table after this result. 2013-14 Summary so far: 3pts for a win, 1pt for a draw, -1pt for a goal conceded and +5pts for a clean sheet P W D L GA (-1 each) CS (5 each) Pts Pts per Game Red 1 1 0 0 0 1 8 8.00 Grey 9 5 2 2 9 4 28 3.11 Green 7 3 0 4 8 2 11 1.57 Yellow 4 1 1 2 8 1 1 0.25 Blue 2 0 1 1 2 0 -1 -0.50 Orange 3 1 1 1 6 0 -2 -0.67 Pink 5 1 3 1 10 0 -4 -0.80 Radioactive Bile 3 1 0 2 6 0 -3 -1.00
What Next?
Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Thursday 26 December 2013 at High Road
Result	Chipstead 0 Leatherhead 3
Competition	Isthmian League Division One South (Step 4)
Hopping	Number 528 on the lifetime list, the second half of a Boxing Day double hop, and I am here for geographical reasons – proximity to my earlier game in East Grinstead.
Pre-match preparation
Not much, as most of the time has been spent trying to find a workable “double hop”, with many games called off.  League table positions would suggest an away win – the home and away sides are flirting with relegation and promotion battles respectively.  Leatherhead will be in borrowed kit as a result of a severe flooding of their home ground and clubhouse.
This match in one sentence
A deserved win for the away side, who were stronger and more clinical in their finishing.
So what?
Leatherhead go second in pursuit of Peacehaven and Telscombe, Chipstead stay 21st and will look over their shoulders at Three Bridges with games in hand.
The drama unfolds
My latest football investment, a “golden goal” ticket for the 21st minute, soon became worthless as Leatherhead took the early lead.  It was a straightforward header for centre-back Tom Parkinson, up for a set piece.  1-0 after 8 mins My scene-setter clip is in the last rays of daylight after about 15 mins.  Leatherhead are in the old borrowed blue kit, but they have a new keeper (Tom Wellham) in red. Shortly after this, Chipstead almost equalised when Carlton Murray-Price just failed to connect with Dan Moody’s low driven cross.  The home side were never out of it, but Leatherhead looked more likely to score.  After half an hour, striker Tom Bradbrook jumped with home keeper Rhys Marshall.  The ball bounced clear for Bradbrook but he shot over the empty net.  I took another clip after 38 minutes, thinking that Leatherhead were dangerous from set pieces, and they went close again with this one. Bradbrook then missed a chance to set up an easy chance for a team-mate just before the interval, but he headed in anyway from the resulting corner sent in by Darren Smith.  0-2 after 42 mins and at half-time Chipstead continued to create and miss a number of half-chances, including a free-kick routine, but Bradbrook rubbed it in with his second of the afternoon, staying on his feet to round the keeper.  0-3 after 76 mins Leatherhead held on for a good away win without further alarm.  Final score 0-3
Ground Pix
Match Pix
Safe hands and a nice red top (see below)
Huddle Stats
Leatherhead huddled and won – Chipstead didn’t huddle and lost, which is against this season’s huddling form book. 2013-14 Summary so far: P W D L GF GA Pts Pts per Game Non-Huddlers 19 8 3 8 27 27 27 1.42 Huddlers 12 4 4 4 9 9 16 1.33 Twin Huddlers 1 0 1 0 2 2 1 1.00
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
Chipstead’s keeper wore grey and Leatherhead’s wore red (first of the season) so the result sends red flying to the top of the table. 2013-14 Summary so far: 3pts for a win, 1pt for a draw, -1pt for a goal conceded and +5pts for a clean sheet P W D L GA (-1 each) CS (5 each) Pts Pts per Game Red 1 1 0 0 0 1 8 8.00 Grey 9 5 2 2 9 4 28 3.11 Yellow 3 1 1 1 4 1 5 1.67 Green 6 2 0 4 8 1 3 0.50 Blue 2 0 1 1 2 0 -1 -0.50 Orange 3 1 1 1 6 0 -2 -0.67 Pink 5 1 3 1 10 0 -4 -0.80 Radioactive Bile 3 1 0 2 6 0 -3 -1.00
Mars Bar Watch 2013 - Postscript
A shocking development while I have been out of circulation – the mass of a standard Mars Bar has decreased to 51g.  This is a loss of around 12% (as a % change from the original 58g).  That news is bad enough, but pales into insignificance compared with the fact that Chipstead has proved, five days before the end of the year, to be the home of the most expensive standard Mars Bar of the calendar year, priced at a whopping £1.00. If only I had my time (and my teeth) all over again, I’d leave them alone, I tell you.  This is also the first time that I have been offered a choice of coffee brands at a non-league ground.  For the record, I chose the Nescafé rather than the Douwe Egbert.  Surrey, eh?
What Next?
Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!