Police Raid in Chatham

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 26 February 2011 at Maidstone Road
Result	Chatham Town 2 Metropolitan Police 3
Competition	Isthmian League Division 1 South (step 4)
Hopping	Lifetime venue #377, and I am here because of an early-enough declaration of “game on” on another wet Saturday.  The crowd included a number from Whitstable, whose game was off due to a deplorable theft of all the copper pipework from their changing rooms in midweek.
This match in one sentence
A last-minute heartbreaker of a goal secured the points for the visitors after the Metropolitan Police Managerial Hairdryer* had been used to good effect at half-time.
So what?
Met Police are in 2nd place, back to one point behind Bognor Regis Town but with a game in hand.  Chatham are 16th in the division and can count themselves unlucky not to get a point today.
The drama unfolds
The teams changed ends after the coin toss and I wonder how significant that turned out to be.  Whether by choice or imposition I don’t know, but the home side were defending a very muddy and treacherous penalty area for the second half.  I was quite surprised to see such a difference at the two ends – a new meaning for a game of two halves. Chatham had the temerity to take the lead against their high-flying visitors with a goal from Jason Barton, and despite a few close scrapes like the one in the first clip, they held on till the interval.  1-0 at half-time. To general amusement, the stadium PA microphone picked up the screaming sound of unhappy management emanating from the changing rooms.  We could only imagine that it was the visiting manager questioning the ability, commitment and possibly parentage of his players.  This certainly had some effect, as the Met came out as a flying squad for the second half. It was only a matter of time before the equaliser came, a poacher’s effort in the mud by Matt Gray for 1-1, followed by a second from captain Steve Sutherland. 1-2.  The home side was not retaining the ball at all and they were gradually pinned back by wave after wave of attacks from the boys in blue.  Adam Molloy was kept busy in the home goal, sometimes as a result of clearances that were coming straight back at him.  Chatham regrouped, to their great credit, and they equalised (again through Barton) with just over five minutes to go. 2-2 The Met had one more set piece up their sleeve in stoppage time, and James Field was in the right place at the right time.  As it happens, I caught all three of the Met Police goals, which all came indirectly from set-pieces.  Final score 2-3.  Great entertainment for the neutral, but a tad harsh on the hosts.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Chatham
Withdraw all your savings and use it as money for old rope at the Historic Dockyard. There is more spinning, closing and laying in the ropery than in the Chatham Town midfield.
A snippet from the programme
The club have been supporting a fundraising effort for a local 7yo, Max Walsh, who has cerebral palsy and “needs to raise £43k to have a revolutionary operation – selective dorsal rhizotomy – to save the use of his legs.” Players and supporters raised £914 at their game against Whitstable.  Aaron Firth and Paul Foley have grown sponsored beards and have raised another £2,600.  A facebook search for “Max in America” will lead you to the family’s group which includes the bank details for anyone wanting to make a donation.
What I learned today
http://www.scope.org.uk/help-and-information/z-therapies/selective-dorsal-rhizotomy
Something random
Chatham Town were the first team to take a league point off the Met Police this season in a 2-2 draw at Imber Court back at the end of October.  Up to that point, the Met had reeled off eight wins to start an unbeaten run of fourteen games.  Bognor Regis Town are also going well in this division and won their home game against Met Police 1-0 last month. * For my overseas readers - "hairdryer treatment" has come to mean something along the lines of "severe telling off by the manager".  It apparently comes from Manchester United players, in a phrase coined by Mark Hughes, describing an in-your-face screaming admonishment in fluent Glaswegian by Sir Alex Ferguson.
What Next?
It will depend on the weather, but the sheer number of fixtures to be rearranged in all leagues this season should give plenty of midweek hoppertunities if the weather improves.

More Fun in the Fenlands

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Friday 25 February 2011 at Chestnut Avenue
Result	Peterborough Northern Star 2 Irchester United 0
Competition	United Counties Premier League (step 5)
Hopping	#376 on the lifetime list, a local-ish game arranged for a Friday evening.  The crowd of nearly 200 was well above the normal gate for the club.
This match in one sentence
Irchester United (in the all-blue kit) did not do much wrong, but they fell behind to a controversial first-half penalty and never really recovered.
So what?
Peterborough Northern Star swap places with their opponents, and these two teams now lie in 5th and 6th places in the league.  They were both in the division below last season – Irchester were the Div One champions in 2009-10 with PNS as the runners-up.
The drama unfolds
We start this week with a “You are the Ref” clip from early in the game.  What would your decision be? Here’s what happened... The home side looked slightly more dangerous, with threats from Josh Moreman on the left wing and Ali Nyang breaking through powerfully from midfield.  The next clip shows a typical Moreman run. One of the Nyang surges led to the critical moment of the whole match.  He went down under a challenge as he got into the area.  The young assistant ref certainly made no movement to put his flag across his chest.  In fact, I thought (from the opposite touchline to be fair) that he made a gesture which meant “no penalty”.  However, the ref, from a good position it has to be said, had already pointed to the spot.  Here’s the kick being tucked away by Jonathan Stead for the lead, and it remained 1-0 at half-time. Mark Baines added a second goal for the hosts, 2-0, and there were some end-to-end passages of play as the visitors tried to get back in the game.  They did not have much luck in front of goal, however, and it never really felt that the result was in doubt.  The final clip shows Irchester trying to get on the scoresheet, but most of all is noteworthy for the squelching of the lino.  Final score 2-0.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Peterborough
I refer the honourable readers to my answer from earlier in the week after my visit to Yaxley: http://modushopperrandom.blogspot.com/2011/02/linnets-win-it.html
A snippet from the programme / What I learned today
Peterborough Northern Star was originally formed as a village side from two brickyards, Northam brickworks in Eye and the Star brickworks in Dogsthorpe during the early 1900s.  They were renamed Eye United in the 1950s before adopting their current name in 2005, having relocated to Peterborough two years earlier.
What Next?
Hopefully something on Saturday, but it seems that the choice will be dependent on the weather yet again.

Linnets Win It

Yaxley are in all blue, KL in white and black.

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Tuesday 22 February 2011 at Leading Grove
Result	Yaxley 0  King’s Lynn Town 6
Competition	United Counties Premier League (step 5)
Hopping	Just over an hour’s journey (in theory) for a midweek hop and the first time I have tried out my new Flip video camera (so apologies for shakiness on some of the clips!)
This match in one sentence
Never in doubt, to the point of tedium really, but the impressive number of KL supporters went home happy enough.
This match summed up in the approximate style of “Waiting for Godot”
Vladimir: How many is it now? Estragon: I forget.  Five, maybe six.  Only the visitors are counting. Vladimir: There's a man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet. Estragon: Yes. Time for a substitute, I think.  Maybe three. Vladimir: Was I sleeping, while the others suffered? Am I ... sleeping now? Tomorrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of today? Estragon: I don't know.  Ask Garth Crooks.  He might understand you.
So what?
King’s Lynn keep up the pressure on the division leaders St Neots Town.  They are now four points behind in third, but with a game in hand, and even more in hand over Newport Pagnell who are currently splitting them.  They are undefeated in all competitions since early October, and their website has already noted the dates of the FA Vase semi finals and final.  They play Rye United in the last eight. Yaxley are in the lower reaches of the division but should have enough points to be clear of relegation.
The drama unfolds
The first goal was scored from the penalty spot by Jamie Thurlbourne within seconds of my arrival through the turnstiles, so I can’t say too much about it.  "It's going to be a long old eighty-nine minutes," said someone wise nearby.  0-1.  The second goal was a screamer and may have been the most spectacular goal I have ever seen at a “live” game.  The ball was played back by Thurlbourne J into midfield from a corner, and his brother Luke, in acres of space, had time to take a touch before sending a beauty in off the post from a trillion yards.  Well, thirty at least.  0-2.  Another penalty (harsh, I thought) from Jamie followed before half-time to complete a kind of Thurlbourne co-operative hat-trick.  Two clips (now in HD from my new gadget) give a feel for the attacking style of King's Lynn, building from the back and working their way patiently to crossing positions.  0-3 at the break. The second penalty kick nestles in the back of the net for 0-3 Yaxley held firm for a while at the start of the second half and even managed to get the ball in the King’s Lynn half occasionally.  However, the impressive King’s Lynn debutant #9 Dubi Ogbonna  burst through and finished very well.  0-4.  A follow-up shot from Robbie Harris trickled in soon after, for 0-5, and then substitute striker Jack Defty was on hand to finish from six yards after home keeper Aaron Bellairs could not quite hold on to the ball after yet another save. Home goalkeeper Alex Street was needed to make one excellent save in the last few minutes for his clean sheet but in all honesty this was a very straightforward win with very little for the neutral to get excited about.  The other clips capture more second-half near misses for the visitors.  Final score 0-6.  Thanks to Yaxley's website for helping me confirm the identity of the scorers.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Peterborough
Queueing for 90 minutes at the Passport Office.  Or having your photograph taken with a cardboard cut-out of Barry Fry.  Or explaining the difference between fens and fans to a passing South African.
A snippet from the programme
Sadly, I arrived only just before kick-off and stocks had sold out.  That is a shocker for a groundhopper and I’d better keep quiet about it else I will be fined by the Royal and Ancient Order of Protective Polypocketers and Cardboard Stiffeners.
What I learned today
Yaxley’s ground is a work in progress, and has been for some time after an access dispute held up the development for the best part of a year.  Their website says that the new clubhouse should be ready for the start of next season.
Something random
Here’s a situation I found myself in today (honestly).  I need to decide whether to pursue an insurance claim for a stolen pair of spectacles.  (Don’t ask.)  They cost around £150 and there is a £60 excess on the policy.  The insurance company claims department tell me that my premium may go up next year if I claim.  Fair enough, I suppose, but I need to know by how much in order to make the decision.  So they put me through to the renewals department, who say they cannot tell me what the difference will be or what factors are taken into account.  The only course of action open to me, it seems, is a formal complaint route.  All of this exposed me to more than the Recommended Daily Amount of muzak as I surfed around the semi-automatic telephone systems of the world like a cheap version of that bloke in The Matrix. I pointed out the bizarre inconsistency in the position of their two departments and I really hope my telephone calls (which may have been recorded for training purposes of course) pass into Aviva staff development folklore in due course, especially the bits about, “How is this consistent with the industry's stated promises of transparency and fairness?”  I may have been channelling Victor Meldrew at one point.  I certainly hope so.  I feel better for telling you about it.  Thank you for listening.
What Next?
A lie down in a darkened room.

Angels Need Acute Victory but Lose to Obtuse Sutton

Home support in the North Stand (First Half) ...

... and Away support in there for the Second Half

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 19 January 2011 at Longmead Stadium
Result	Tonbridge Angels 0 Sutton United 1
Competition	Isthmian Premier League (Step 3)
Hopping	On another day when plans were disrupted by weather, I was here because of early tweeting confirming that the game would be on.  Credit to the club, as the entire step 5 Kent Premier League was wiped out.
This match in one sentence
In front of a crowd of over 750, Sutton United got their proverbial noses in front early in the second half and held on for an important win over a potential championship rival.
So what?
After this first home defeat since September, Tonbridge stay 3rd although Lowestoft Town can overtake them by winning a game in hand – they were smacking Hendon 8-1 as we watched this game.  Sutton have at least a two-point cushion at the top – they have a current lead of eight over Bury Town but the Suffolk side have two games in hand.  Sutton United v Bury Town on 9th April might turn out to be a key fixture!
The drama unfolds
The first two clips are taken from my position in the North stand among the Tonbridge faithful.    The first half was pretty even, with plenty of goalmouth incident to keep the large crowd entertained.  There was a good atmosphere in the ground, with vocal support at both ends of the pitch. Sutton keeper Kevin Scriven made one notable double save to earn his eventual clean sheet.  Tonbridge beat his counterpart Lee Worgan twice.  On the first occasion, he was rounded but the pull-back from the byline drifted out with an unguarded net gaping.  On the second, Tonbridge’s top scorer Frannie Collin’s shot rebounded to safety off the post. The only other incident of note in the first 45 was the dismissal of visiting manager Paul Doswell from the field of play after the intervention of the referee’s assistant.  0-0 at half-time, which was fair enough from my position of neutrality.  Sutton were looking marginally stronger physically, I thought. The deciding goal came after 56 minutes.  A blocked shot pinged around in the area and eventually fell nicely for Leroy Griffiths to finish with a low shot.  0-1.  After that the game became more tepid for a while, until it perked up after substitutions for a frantic final ten.  The next two clips catch some Sutton attacks. For a few end-to-end minutes, scores of 1-1 and 0-2 looked equally likely and Kevin Scriven was again called upon to make a sharp save in the closing moments.  On balance he would be man-of-the-match for me because he did as much as anyone to decide the result.  Final score 0-1. Dark Arts of Defending #1 I'm not touching him, look ... What, ref?
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Tonbridge
Pretend to be from Le Puy-en-Velay, Tonbridge’s twin town in France, and go round to all local supermarkets in turn complaining loudly in a Frenglish accent about the price and quality of lentils in particular and systematic discrimination towards vegetarians in general.
A snippet from the programme
A very well-designed programme by the way, produced to a high quality.  “Kaptain Kinch” wrote about an unexpected defeat at bottom club Croydon Athletic last week. “(The performance) was better than we’d played in the last couple of games.  The chances we created in the second half were enough to win three or four games but their goalkeeper was in inspired form.  He just got behind everything and will probably look back and think (this) was the best performance of his career.  I don’t think I’ve played against a goalkeeper who’s played as well as he did.  But that’s not to make excuses.” For the record, the goalkeeper under discussion is Charlie Mitten. One can only assume the programme editor didn't do the signs.  He'd have noticed this catapostrophe!
What I learned today
Lots of discussion today about non-league clubs in the FA Cup, as the Manchester United v Crawley Town tie kicked off soon after the final whistle here.  Tonbridge Angels have been in the first round proper on five occasions, the last time being a 5-0 defeat by Charlton Athletic in 1972-3.  Sutton United got plenty of mentions today for their famous third-round win over Coventry City in 1988-9.  They lost 8-0 at Norwich in round 4, which was not mentioned at all as far as I know.  Finally, the aforementioned Kevin Scriven was between the sticks for Havant & Waterlooville in 2007-8 as they progressed with wins over Notts County and Swansea City to Anfield, leading twice in a 5-2 defeat by Liverpool.
Something random
This made me wonder tangentially whether the League Cup ought to be repositioned.  I believe that there are several options for making it a more interesting competition from a sporting perspective.  In all cases, I would get rid of the carrot of European competition and turn it into a competition that more clubs could win. Exclude the Premiership clubs who are engaged in European competition.  This would mean that ties could be scheduled in European weeks and help with the fixture calendar. Exclude the Premiership clubs altogether and make it a competition for the 72 football league clubs. Exclude the Premiership, but add the Conference (who are increasingly full-time clubs with FL experience anyway). Keep the Premiership and/or add the Conference but put some age restrictions in – Premiership sides must be U23, Championship U25, League One U27, League Two U29 – so that it becomes a stars-of-the-future tournament in the latter stages. I also suggest that ALL FA Cup ties, not just replays, should go to extra time.  I might even be persuaded to get rid of replays altogether.  I don’t have a problem with competitions evolving over time to meet new circumstances.  At some point in history, WBA (for example) stopped making the Birmingham Senior Cup a first-team priority.  Even non-league teams face these priority dilemmas – many of them are engaged in League Cups or County Cups of varying relevance alongside their league fixtures.
What Next?
I am writing this at 5am (long story), therefore … sleep!  (PS sorry about the angels/angles thing in the title - at least it's better than fallen angels ..  ;)

CUP Upset in Essex

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Wednesday 16 February 2011 at Catons Lane
Result	Saffron Walden Town 3 Cambridge University Press 0
Competition	Eastern Counties Division One (Step 6)
Hopping	Venue 373 on the lifetime list
This match in one sentence
A needless last-minute red card was the only blemish on an excellent evening for the hosts, who were 2-0 up and fairly comfortable after 50 minutes.
So what?
CUP still sit at the top of the table by four points but will be looking nervously now at teams with games in hand below them.  Even Saffron Walden, up to fifth, now have five games in hand to close a gap of eleven points.
The drama unfolds
The clips capture the atmosphere and some of the early sparring. After a fairly even first quarter, a direct free-kick found its way through the defensive wall and into the corner of the net.  1-0.  In a pretty even contest at this point, the main talking points were disciplinary.  Tackles were flying in from both sides and a CUP midfielder was booked for loud dissent (rather than the foul that preceded it).  Another CUP defender was, in my view, lucky to get away with just a yellow – his transgression looked like a cynical trip from where I was standing, admittedly further away than the referee.  As a neutral, I did not think that he favoured one side or the other, but I did wonder whether he was being too lenient.  1-0 at half-time. Saffron Walden got their second goal after 50 minutes and this was excellent timing.  2-0.  The rest of the game was end-to-end stuff, and either side could have scored.  As it was, the home side got a third with a few minutes to go.  There was time for one more needless slide tackle on the touchline near the benches.  Unfortunately, I was not close enough to give a reliable account of what happened.  After a melee, the ref consulted his assistant and waved the yellow card for a CUP player and the red one for a SWT defender.  I reckon the seeds of that incident had been planted earlier.  Final score 3-0.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Saffron Walden
Get stuck in the town’s turf maze by convincing yourself you will be struck by lightning if you step off the path.  It is quite a distinctive feature of the town and a thing of beauty when seen from above – you could also try a right-hand-follow technique (as used by firefighters wearing breathing apparatus in smoke-filled environments) to see if it works in finding a way out.  Imagine the maze has a real wall and you follow it, never letting your right hand leave the surface.  In that way, you can always be sure to retrace your steps if you get lost or disoriented.  Some maze-solving robots (and perhaps superintelligent lab rats) use the same technique.
A snippet from the programme
This is an excellent programme for a step 6 club, but the programme editor is not happy … “There was an excellent result against Team Bury on Saturday when we ran out 4-1 winners.  However, it is very frustrating to see that, a year on from our meeting with the Ridgeons Football League about Bury Town/Team Bury, our opponents on Saturday fielded nine players who are registered on the Bury Town website as their first team players.  Who is kidding who here?  Team Bury are blatantly flouting the rules as they are so obviously a nursery side for Bury Town … it beggars belief really!  One day maybe the League will be strong enough to do something about it.”
What I learned today
The town gets its name from the growth of the saffron crocus, used at the time in real and quack healthcare, and for making dye.
What Next?
Not sure – watch this space!