The Search for a Direction

This week I decided to let Google decide my destination.  I typed the full description of each fixture into the search box and I will go to the game that offers the highest number of hits.  It's not random in the strict mathematical sense but I personally had no idea what the outcome would be.  The five games are at Step 3 venues on this season's priority list, the only ones with a fixture.  Here's the evidence in the form of screenshots.

108k

286k

122k

83,700 (83.7k)

170k

We find that Grantham Town v Marine gives the highest number of search results by quite a margin.  At this point I have no idea why - maybe it is a fixture with a more extensive history or perhaps there is one particular game, notable for some reason, that influences the result count.

It's a trip up the Great North Road on Saturday, then.  Hope you all have a great footballing day wherever you are.

Cowes Can Have No Beef With Wimborne

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 29 August at Westwood Park
Result	Cowes Sports 0 Wimborne Town 5
Competition	FA Cup Preliminary Round
Hopping	All is explained in the previous blogpost, but this visit was randomly selected by horseracing results last Wednesday.  In turn that was inspired by my first trip to the races on Tuesday.  I am here because of this specific combination of events: Omotesando lived up to his status at 7/4 favourite in the eighth race of the day at Lingfield (the 5.25) AND then Landwade Lad came home at 11/2 in the 8.25 at Kempton Park having been drawn in position eight.  No other sequence of events could have brought me here.  The 8.25 favourite was unplaced – had it won, I’d have been at Abbey Hey v Warrington at the other end of the country.  It’s random, and beats making your own decisions.  Westwood Park goes in at number 577 on my lifetime list.  It is NOT the first time that I have taken to the water to get to an English game if you count the Woolwich ferry en route to Thamesmead Town.  It’s not my first time on the IoW either, but it is the first time in over 40 years.  Wonder if Southern Vectis buses still exist?  (Answer: Yes!)
Pre-match Preparation
Step 5 versus Step 4.  Cowes Sports were promoted from Step 6 last season into the Wessex Premier League.  They beat Melksham Town of the Western League Premier 3-1 in a replay to earn this tie.  The third goal was knocked in from the half-way line in the closing minutes.  They were well-beaten in their only away league game this season but are unbeaten at home including a comeback from 0-2 down in their last game.  Results suggest a resilient team whose best chance of winning this tie is to do so at home. Looking at Wimborne Town’s results raises more questions than answers.  They enter the FA Cup at this stage but only picked up their first league points of the season last Saturday after a couple of thumpings, a narrow defeat and a crazy 5-6 home defeat to Winchester City.  They play in the Southern League Division One South & West.
Pre-match Entertainment
The Sir Max Aitken Museum houses one of the craziest, eccentric and random collections of memorabilia that I have ever seen.  It deserves more visitors.  Wonderful Englishness at its best. A cradle made for one of Napoleon Bonaparte's kiddies! These are dirks.  The upper one was from Hitler's bunker.  Sir Max acquired it from his father Lord Beaverbrook (the press baron) who in turn had been given it by Stalin.  The lower one (reassuringly bigger) is one of the Duke of Edinburgh's.  Physics alert!  This is a sundial with an alarm feature.  Charge the miniature cannon, set the devlice in the right orientation and at the chosen hour the focussed light rays from the sun will light the fuse!
This Match in One Sentence
A comfortable win for the visitors who gave the hosts a lesson in finishing.
So what?
Wimborne will be at home to Witheridge of the Step 6 SW Peninsula League in the First Qualifying Round.
The Drama Unfolds
It started to rain steadily and the chances of an upset faded very quickly as Wimborne’s number 9, James Stokoe, for whom the word burly was invented, beat the keeper Ed Hatt to a cross for an easy header.  0-1 after 4 mins Hatt made a good block to prevent further damage before Wimborne missed another good chance.  A headed backpass fell too short but Hatt was fortunate to be able to shepherd Mark Gamble away from goal.   Wimborne were very, very comfortable.  Occasionally Cowes would show glimpses of slick passing and triangles against their stronger more physical opponents, but they could not really get the Wimborne keeper working hard. The second goal was rolled in by Franklyn Clarke when the offside line was breached, to the annoyance of the home faithful in the splendid wooden main stand who were not happy with the lino.  A real defensive calamity, but no more damage in the first 45.  0-2 at half-time The “if only” moment came five minutes into the second half.  If only Charlie Smeeton had poked the ball home instead of wide when it fell to him on the six-yard line.  Wimborne struck immediately and a through ball went to Gamble who made no mistake.  0-3 after 51 mins The impressive Stokoe scored his second of the game by dropping deep to receive a pass then placing a low shot into the bottom right corner.  0-4 after 59 mins Cowes gamely sought a consolation and Jason Harvell saved well from Jordan Browne before Wimborne scored again.  A sweeping move in numerical order by numbers 9 Stokoe (great pass), 10 Gamble (square across the box) and 11 led to a tap-in for the latter, Carl Preston,  0-5 after 67 mins Harvell denied Cowes a consolation again but diving to push away a shot by Keelan Sainsbury which would otherwise have gone into the top corner, and at the other end Hatt saved a sixth with an acrobatic save to push away a shot from Clarke.  Wimborne will be very happy with this as a job completed clinically.  If you have been following them this year you may well have seen more goals in total than anyone else.  Final score 0-5
Ground Pix
A very well-equipped clubhouse alongside the wooden stand.  Altogether a very pleasant experience even in the rain. Minute silence impeccably observed in memory of Matt Grimstone and Jacob Schilt of Worthing United who lost their lives in the Shoreham Air Show crash last weekend Above-average levels of intrepidness
Match Pix
Cowes Sports are in the blue-and-white.
Public Information Service A field guide to Recognition of Isle of Wight Ferries
No, No, No No, No and No Definitely No Yes (red one) and No (white one) Yes (but only if you are on foot)
Updated Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
A win and a clean sheet for green over bottom-of-the-table pink. The story so far: 3pts for win, 1pt for draw, -1pt for goal against and +5pts for a clean sheet P W D L GA (-1 each) CS (5 each) Pts Pts per Game Red 6.0 3.0 0.0 3.0 6.0 2.0 13.0 2.17 Green 37.0 18.0 5.0 14.0 56.0 12.0 63.0 1.70 Purple 7.0 4.0 2.0 1.0 13.0 2.0 11.0 1.57 Maroon 4.0 2.0 1.0 1.0 6.0 1.0 6.0 1.50 Grey 29.5 13.0 7.0 9.5 43.5 7.0 34.5 1.27 Orange 9.5 2.0 3.0 4.5 12.5 3.0 11.5 1.21 Blue 18.0 7.0 4.0 7.0 29.0 5.0 21.0 1.17 Yellow 15.0 3.0 5.0 7.0 28.0 3.0 1.0 0.07 Black 3.0 1.0 2.0 0.0 7.0 0.0 -2.0 -0.67 Radioactive Bile 6.0 2.0 0.0 4.0 12.0 0.0 -6.0 -1.00 Pink 9.0 1.0 3.0 5.0 23.0 0.0 -17.0 -1.89
What Next?
The new school term is about to start and my hopping decisions tend to be last-minute at this time of year.  Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!

Horses for Causation

Yesterday's Modus Hopper Racing experience at Newbury has inspired me to find a new way of making life decisions.  I found a long list of racehorses and have linked them to a long list of matches.  The winning horse in each race will in effect add the linked match to my Saturday shortlist.  Then we will need a way of choosing from the shortlist, but by then the entire nation will be following.  Well done for being here first and humouring me.

How the horses were selected:
There are 79 horses on the race card at Lingfield today.  I chose Lingfield simply because it is an all-weather track.  Some copy-and-paste into Excel shenanigans were involved before the clip starts. 

How the matches were selected:
More copy-and-paste manipulation gave me the list of games.  All are FA Cup ties at grounds that I have not visited before, from Steps 4-6.  (I say 4&5 on the video clip below, but that was a slip of the tongue).  The list has all the unvisited Step 4s and 6s in the draw, and an arbitrary selection of Step 5s to make up the numbers.  I dropped a few games where Step 5 sides are at home to Step 6 sides to make the total add to 78.  I needed one more and it seemed appropriate that it should be at Newmarket Town.

How the horses were randomly linked to the matches:
Here's the proof ...

I've sorted the sheet and tidied up the presentation here into race groups.  The odds are indicative and could change, but Brockenhurst are the current favourites to be first on to the Saturday shortlist and Whitstable are now randomly rank outsiders.  I will end up with a shortlist of eight "winners", which can be sorted out tomorrow!  South Normanton Athletic, AFC Goole and Brimscombe & Thrupp are already out of the picture as their horses have been declared non-runners.  Updates to follow at the end of the day!

1.50 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
BEXHILL UNITED	v	FAVERSHAM TOWN	1(5)	Let There Be Light	3/1
BRIGHOUSE TOWN	v	ATHERTON COLLIERIES	2(6)	Rampers (IRE)	4/1
CRAY VALLEY (PM)	v	HASTINGS UNITED	3(2)	Harmony Bay (IRE)	20/1
RUNCORN LINNETS	v	PONTEFRACT COLLIERIES	4(8)	Last Star Falling (IRE)	16/1
BARTON TOWN OLD BOYS	v	DROYLSDEN	5(3)	Ettie Hart (IRE)	5/1
BROCKENHURST	v	YATE TOWN	6(7)	Matilda's Law	7/4
WHITSTABLE TOWN	v	WALTON CASUALS	7(1)	Princess One Much (IRE)	40/1
TADCASTER ALBION	v	COLNE	8(4)	Tihana	10/1

2.20 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
LOUGHBOROUGH UNIVERSITY	v	LONG EATON UNITED	1(4)	Clap In Time	4/1
EASTBOURNE TOWN	v	WHYTELEAFE	10(3)	Tears In My Eyes (IRE)	8/1
HARTLEY WINTNEY	v	BANBURY UNITED	11(9)	Totzo (IRE)	8/1
ERITH TOWN	v	HORSHAM YMCA	2(7)	Cooperess	12/1
MONEYFIELDS	v	PETERSFIELD TOWN	3(5)	Here's Two	33/1
HULLBRIDGE SPORTS	v	MALDON & TIPTREE	4(8)	I'm Just Saying	9/1
BLACKFIELD & LANGLEY	v	BEMERTON HEATH HARLEQUINS	5(6)	If Winter Comes	6/1
SOUTH NORMANTON ATHLETIC	v	LINCOLN UNITED	6(10)	Peru	NR
DEEPING RANGERS	v	DEREHAM TOWN	7(1)	Regality (IRE)	8/1
NEWMARKET TOWN	v	PETERBOROUGH SPORTS	8(2)	Ruby Wednesday	10/1
LOUGHBOROUGH DYNAMO	v	BASFORD UNITED	9(11)	Shufoog	11/4

2.50 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
BECKENHAM TOWN	v	GREENWICH BOROUGH	1(9)	Hajeer (IRE)	5/4
GUISBOROUGH TOWN	v	NEWCASTLE BENFIELD	2(5)	Romancingthestone	10/1
GOOLE AFC	v	SHEFFIELD	3(6)	Salt Lake Sooty	NR
THETFORD TOWN	v	BURY TOWN	4(2)	Intimately	9/2
HAMWORTHY UNITED	v	ANDOVER TOWN	5(7)	Fine Share (IRE)	22/1
WESTFIELDS	v	KIDSGROVE ATHLETIC	6(4)	Brave Archibald (IRE)	11/2
WROXHAM	v	FAKENHAM	7(1)	Royal Mighty	8/1
ALMONDSBURY UWE	v	VERWOOD TOWN	8(3)	Efron (IRE)	8/1
CONGLETON TOWN	v	HANDSWORTH PARRAMORE	9(8)	Simply Clever	12/1

3.20 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
BISHOP AUCKLAND	v	JARROW ROOFING BOLDON CA	1(3)	Whaleweigh Station	15/2
CLIPSTONE	v	CLEETHORPES TOWN	2(8)	Showtime Star	9/2
BRIMSCOMBE & THRUPP	v	BRACKNELL TOWN	3(5)	Rufford (IRE)	NR
RADFORD	v	SPALDING UNITED	4(7)	York Glory (USA)	11/1
ARMTHORPE WELFARE	v	NEW MILLS	5(2)	Head Space (IRE)	6/1
AFC ST AUSTELL	v	BODMIN TOWN	6(1)	Drive On (IRE)	8/1
BRIDPORT	v	SHERBORNE TOWN	7(9)	Lead A Merry Dance	6/1
CARLTON TOWN	v	SHEPSHED DYNAMO	8(4)	Dangerous Age	11/1
WHITTON UNITED	v	KIRKLEY & PAKEFIELD	9(6)	Refuse Colette (IRE)	9/2

3.50 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
RAMSGATE	v	TOOTING & MITCHAM UNITED	1(5)	All For The Best (IRE)	9/4
COVE	v	NORTH LEIGH	2(4)	Blue Chip	11/8
WINCHESTER CITY	v	WINCANTON TOWN	3(1)	Julieta (IRE)	9/2
TAUNTON TOWN	v	ODD DOWN	4(3)	Concord (IRE)	12/1
LEICESTER NIRVANA	v	BELPER TOWN	5(2)	Lorelei	7/1

4.20 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
AFC PORTCHESTER	v	AFC TOTTON	1(13)	Nouvelle Ere	14/1
NEWTON AYCLIFFE	v	MORPETH TOWN	10(11)	Rum Swizzle	3/1
HARROGATE RAILWAY ATHLETIC	v	SPENNYMOOR TOWN	11(9)	Kachou	6/4
PHOENIX SPORTS	v	GUERNSEY	12(4)	Cafe Caprice	33/1
MARKET DRAYTON TOWN	v	AFC BRIDGNORTH	13(1)	Street Art (IRE)	33/1
SILSDEN AFC	v	PADIHAM	2(8)	Osgood	10/1
SHOREHAM	v	HORLEY TOWN	3(2)	Fine Tune (IRE)	66/1
THATCHAM TOWN	v	GUILDFORD CITY	4(6)	Layla's King	7/1
GLOSSOP NORTH END	v	PRESCOT CABLES	5(12)	Mighty Thor	66/1
ALSAGER TOWN	v	SHAW LANE AQUAFORCE	6(5)	Awesome Rock (IRE)	12/1
DEAL TOWN	v	HORSHAM	7(10)	Happy Jack (IRE)	10/1
CHELTENHAM SARACENS	v	MILTON UNITED	8(3)	Sakhra	14/1
RUNCORN TOWN	v	NORTHWICH VICTORIA	9(7)	Wannabe Magic	22/1

4.55 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
WEST AUCKLAND TOWN	v	WASHINGTON	1(2)	Lily Edge	12/1
BRISTOL MANOR FARM	v	BITTON AFC	10(5)	Fanny Again	10/1
RISBOROUGH RANGERS	v	AYLESBURY	11(6)	Dainty Daisey (IRE)	33/1
ABBEY HEY	v	WARRINGTON TOWN	12(3)	Katniss (IRE)	9/2
HOLKER OLD BOYS	v	DUNSTON UTS	2(12)	Shirataki (IRE)	14/1
BARNSTAPLE TOWN	v	BRIDGWATER TOWN	3(7)	Hong Kong Joe	6/1
ASHINGTON	v	THACKLEY	4(11)	Everywish	20/1
FARNHAM TOWN	v	HIGHWORTH TOWN	5(8)	Athenian Garden (USA)	11/2
NORTH SHIELDS	v	KENDAL TOWN	6(9)	Ballyheigue (IRE)	20/1
CHICHESTER CITY	v	CHATHAM TOWN	7(10)	San Quentin (IRE)	11/2
PLYMOUTH PARKWAY	v	TIVERTON TOWN	8(4)	Hermosa Vaquera (IRE)	4/1
AFC BLACKPOOL	v	OSSETT TOWN	9(1)	Let's Confer	25/1

5.25 LINGFIELD

Home	v	Away	#	Horse	Odds
PAGHAM	v	CORINTHIAN CASUALS	1(11)	Glennten	8/1
MILDENHALL TOWN	v	SOHAM TOWN RANGERS	10(12)	Izzy Too	40/1
BROMSGROVE SPORTS	v	HINCKLEY UNITED	11(1)	Incantare	8/1
GREAT WAKERING ROVERS	v	BRANTHAM ATHLETIC	12(10)	Duke Of Dunton (IRE)	10/1
EASTBOURNE UNITED	v	ARUNDEL	2(2)	Kicking The Can (IRE)	11/1
OSSETT ALBION	v	MAINE ROAD	3(7)	Munsarim (IRE)	16/1
TUFFLEY ROVERS	v	BISHOP'S CLEEVE	4(3)	Sexy Secret	20/1
CONSETT AFC	v	SCARBOROUGH ATHLETIC	5(8)	The Firm (IRE)	12/1
HOLMESDALE	v	SOUTH PARK	6(9)	Understory (USA)	5/1
BURSCOUGH	v	AFC EMLEY	7(5)	Megalala (IRE)	12/1
SEVEN ACRE & SIDCUP	v	SITTINGBOURNE	8(4)	Bane (IRE)	14/1
COWES SPORTS	v	WIMBORNE TOWN	9(6)	Omotesando	2/1

While the afternoon was in progress, I looked for an equine way of getting the shortlist of eight down to one sole winner.  The first race I found with eight runners was the 8.25 at Kempton Park and of course the nice stewards have already randomised them for me if I use their draw number rather than their display number.

RESULTS FROM LINGFIELD

1.50  Harmony Bay 20/1 linked to Cray Valley PM v Hastings
2.20  Shufoog 11/4f, Loughborough Dynamo v Basford United
2.50  Brave Archibald 11/4, Westfields v Kidsgrove Athletic
3.20  Showtime Star 4/1, Clipstone v Cleethorpes Town
3.50  Julieta 2/1, Winchester City v Wincanton Town
4.20  Rum Swizzle 5/2, Newton Aycliffe v Morpeth Town
4.55  Katniss 7/2f, Abbey Hey v Warrington Town
5.25  Omotesando 7/4f, Cowes Sports v Wimborne Town

Here is how the eight games link to the horses in the Kempton Park decider:

Home	v	Away	Draw	Horse	Odds
Cray Valley (PM)	v	Hastings United	1	Twitch (IRE)	6/1
Loughborough Dynamo	v	Basford United	2	Sea Of Red	33/1
Westfields	v	Kidsgrove Athletic	3	Taper Tantrum (IRE)	8/1
Clipstone	v	Cleethorpes Town	4	Emirates Skywards (IRE)	15/2
Winchester City	v	Wincanton Town	5	Molten Lava (IRE)	20/1
Newton Aycliffe	v	Morpeth Town	6	Soluble (GER)	10/3
Abbey Hey	v	Warrington Town	7	Cloud Seven	11/4
Cowes Sports	v	Wimborne Town	8	Landwade Lad	9/2

THE RESULT OF THE 8.25 AT KEMPTON PARK

1st Landwade Lad 11/2

2nd Soluble

3rd Twitch

Cloud Seven was the unplaced favourite

... so I wlll be heading for the Isle of Wight for the first time since my teenage years for Cowes Sports v Wimborne Town.

It's random.