The Lincs Effect

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 5 September 2015 at South Kesteven Sports Stadium
Result	Grantham Town 0 Marine 0
Competition	Northern Premier League (Step 3)
Hopping	Ground 578 on the lifetime list as I tick off one of this season’s main targets on the way to completing “everywhere down to Step 3”.  I am here, randomishly (see previous post) because Google had more search results (286,000) for “Grantham Town v Marine” than for the fixtures at Bideford, Merthyr, Ramsbottom or Whitby.
Pre-match preparation
Grantham are still searching for their first win of the season and they lie 23rd of 24 in the relatively early league table.  Their website has a somewhat grumpy (and justifiably so if the allegations are true) news item concerning top scorer Lee Ndlovu’s commitment-breaker decision to switch to Ilkeston.  It should be said that no rules have been broken. Marine’s only victory has been away from home but they sit in lower-mid-table with four more points but from one more game.  You know, this one has 0-0 or 1-1 draw written all over it!  (Note: I honestly did write that before I left Chateau Yapp on Saturday morning.)
This match in one sentence
An entertaining but breeze-affected scoreless draw.
So what?
The Gingerbreads are still searching for that first win and remain 23rd in the table.  Marine drop one place to 15th.  I have ten more Step 3 grounds left to complete the level, six in this league, three down south (more south-west really for me) and one more down south but in the Isthmian league.
The drama unfolds
I watched the first half above the halfway line from the terraces under the upper case welcome from the local council. At the first direct free kick in the opening moments, Marine’s Andy Owens overtly challenged the ref about the distance to the defensive wall by pacing it out.  The player was correct.  Then the assistant flagged for a Marine offside when the ball had inadvertently been played backward by a defender rather than forward by an attacker.  This set the tone for the bench view of the officials all afternoon. The first quarter of the game was worthy but dull as risk-free defending frequently sent the ball in the air and the breeze made control tricky.  Midway through the first half there was a lucky escape for Marine as a defender’s clearance sliced off the underside of the bar and down on to the line.  Grantham appealed but nothing was given.  The assistant was reasonably placed, and certainly better placed than me, so let’s hope that was right.  By now we had two very shouty, berating dugouts.  The home side won the obscenity count and the “cheat” word was audible even from where I was standing.  If you bring young children here, sit on the other side or put cotton wool in their ears. Though still goalless, the match continued to be entertaining and end-to-end.  A good move led to a Grantham corner but that led to a three-on-one Marine breakaway and a shot tipped round the post.  Grantham’s Lee Beeson then curled a long shot, also tipped away.  Marine’s Carl Peers then hit the crossbar before a follow-up shot hit the post and then the follow-up to the follow-up was well-saved by Jake Turner.  Ten seconds of madness but enough to make Marine feel that they had edged the first half. 0-0 at half-time The second half followed much the same pattern, and this time I was seated in the main stand.  It remained an end-to-end game with solid defending.  Marine adapted better to the conditions and their through balls held up in the breeze to give the home defenders problems.  Grantham’s through balls were often overhit and they returned possession to Marine too often.  Both keepers were busy without needing to be spectacular.  Peers missed the target from a good position and then Liam Willis missed the ball altogether from an even better one.  If drawn matches were decided on missed chances than Marine were now definitely in front.  They made another one as Lewis Codling created a shooting chance for sub Lloyd Ellams, sent just wide. Grantham finally had the ball in the back of a net after 89 minutes.  Unfortunately, it was the net that would surround a discus-thrower at an athletics event.  Overall, I enjoyed the game and my visit to South Kesteven.  Marine will be hard to beat this season.  Grantham look to have decent team spirit and resilience but they’ll need a cutting edge.  Final score 0-0
Ground Pix
There are two very good stands at this ground and facilities are excellent.  You get a great but rather distant view of the action across the track.
Match Pix
Grantham are in black-and-white.
Something You Don’t Get in the Premier League
Hurdles - English football stadia tend to be track-free, unlike other parts of the world Note the classic non-league one-man-and-his-dog spectator combo
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
Clean sheets and a draw for both blue and pink. The story so far after 73 games: 3pts for a win, 1pt for a draw, -1pt for a goal conceded and +5pts for a clean sheet.  Ranked by points per game (PPG). P W D L GC CS Pts PPG Red 6.0 3.0 0.0 3.0 6.0 2.0 13.0 2.17 Green 37.0 18.0 5.0 14.0 56.0 12.0 63.0 1.70 Purple 7.0 4.0 2.0 1.0 13.0 2.0 11.0 1.57 Maroon 4.0 2.0 1.0 1.0 6.0 1.0 6.0 1.50 Blue 19.0 7.0 5.0 7.0 29.0 6.0 27.0 1.42 Grey 29.5 13.0 7.0 9.5 43.5 7.0 37.5 1.27 Orange 9.5 2.0 3.0 4.5 12.5 3.0 11.5 1.21 Yellow 15.0 3.0 5.0 7.0 28.0 3.0 1.0 0.07 Black 3.0 1.0 2.0 0.0 7.0 0.0 -2.0 -0.67 Radioactive Bile 6.0 2.0 0.0 4.0 12.0 0.0 -6.0 -1.00 Pink 10.0 1.0 4.0 5.0 23.0 1.0 -11.0 -1.10
What Next?
FA Cup weekend next weekend!  An Isle of Dogs Dinner means that Phoenix Sports v Lewes is the only feasible tie for me, so it isn’t random but I am very happy with that!  Keep an eye on my friends at therealfacup too.  The other event this week is this blog’s 5th birthday, so there will be a few nostalgic and misty-eyed nods to the past.  Follow @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!

The Search for a Direction

This week I decided to let Google decide my destination.  I typed the full description of each fixture into the search box and I will go to the game that offers the highest number of hits.  It's not random in the strict mathematical sense but I personally had no idea what the outcome would be.  The five games are at Step 3 venues on this season's priority list, the only ones with a fixture.  Here's the evidence in the form of screenshots.

108k

286k

122k

83,700 (83.7k)

170k

We find that Grantham Town v Marine gives the highest number of search results by quite a margin.  At this point I have no idea why - maybe it is a fixture with a more extensive history or perhaps there is one particular game, notable for some reason, that influences the result count.

It's a trip up the Great North Road on Saturday, then.  Hope you all have a great footballing day wherever you are.

Cowes Can Have No Beef With Wimborne

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 29 August at Westwood Park
Result	Cowes Sports 0 Wimborne Town 5
Competition	FA Cup Preliminary Round
Hopping	All is explained in the previous blogpost, but this visit was randomly selected by horseracing results last Wednesday.  In turn that was inspired by my first trip to the races on Tuesday.  I am here because of this specific combination of events: Omotesando lived up to his status at 7/4 favourite in the eighth race of the day at Lingfield (the 5.25) AND then Landwade Lad came home at 11/2 in the 8.25 at Kempton Park having been drawn in position eight.  No other sequence of events could have brought me here.  The 8.25 favourite was unplaced – had it won, I’d have been at Abbey Hey v Warrington at the other end of the country.  It’s random, and beats making your own decisions.  Westwood Park goes in at number 577 on my lifetime list.  It is NOT the first time that I have taken to the water to get to an English game if you count the Woolwich ferry en route to Thamesmead Town.  It’s not my first time on the IoW either, but it is the first time in over 40 years.  Wonder if Southern Vectis buses still exist?  (Answer: Yes!)
Pre-match Preparation
Step 5 versus Step 4.  Cowes Sports were promoted from Step 6 last season into the Wessex Premier League.  They beat Melksham Town of the Western League Premier 3-1 in a replay to earn this tie.  The third goal was knocked in from the half-way line in the closing minutes.  They were well-beaten in their only away league game this season but are unbeaten at home including a comeback from 0-2 down in their last game.  Results suggest a resilient team whose best chance of winning this tie is to do so at home. Looking at Wimborne Town’s results raises more questions than answers.  They enter the FA Cup at this stage but only picked up their first league points of the season last Saturday after a couple of thumpings, a narrow defeat and a crazy 5-6 home defeat to Winchester City.  They play in the Southern League Division One South & West.
Pre-match Entertainment
The Sir Max Aitken Museum houses one of the craziest, eccentric and random collections of memorabilia that I have ever seen.  It deserves more visitors.  Wonderful Englishness at its best. A cradle made for one of Napoleon Bonaparte's kiddies! These are dirks.  The upper one was from Hitler's bunker.  Sir Max acquired it from his father Lord Beaverbrook (the press baron) who in turn had been given it by Stalin.  The lower one (reassuringly bigger) is one of the Duke of Edinburgh's.  Physics alert!  This is a sundial with an alarm feature.  Charge the miniature cannon, set the devlice in the right orientation and at the chosen hour the focussed light rays from the sun will light the fuse!
This Match in One Sentence
A comfortable win for the visitors who gave the hosts a lesson in finishing.
So what?
Wimborne will be at home to Witheridge of the Step 6 SW Peninsula League in the First Qualifying Round.
The Drama Unfolds
It started to rain steadily and the chances of an upset faded very quickly as Wimborne’s number 9, James Stokoe, for whom the word burly was invented, beat the keeper Ed Hatt to a cross for an easy header.  0-1 after 4 mins Hatt made a good block to prevent further damage before Wimborne missed another good chance.  A headed backpass fell too short but Hatt was fortunate to be able to shepherd Mark Gamble away from goal.   Wimborne were very, very comfortable.  Occasionally Cowes would show glimpses of slick passing and triangles against their stronger more physical opponents, but they could not really get the Wimborne keeper working hard. The second goal was rolled in by Franklyn Clarke when the offside line was breached, to the annoyance of the home faithful in the splendid wooden main stand who were not happy with the lino.  A real defensive calamity, but no more damage in the first 45.  0-2 at half-time The “if only” moment came five minutes into the second half.  If only Charlie Smeeton had poked the ball home instead of wide when it fell to him on the six-yard line.  Wimborne struck immediately and a through ball went to Gamble who made no mistake.  0-3 after 51 mins The impressive Stokoe scored his second of the game by dropping deep to receive a pass then placing a low shot into the bottom right corner.  0-4 after 59 mins Cowes gamely sought a consolation and Jason Harvell saved well from Jordan Browne before Wimborne scored again.  A sweeping move in numerical order by numbers 9 Stokoe (great pass), 10 Gamble (square across the box) and 11 led to a tap-in for the latter, Carl Preston,  0-5 after 67 mins Harvell denied Cowes a consolation again but diving to push away a shot by Keelan Sainsbury which would otherwise have gone into the top corner, and at the other end Hatt saved a sixth with an acrobatic save to push away a shot from Clarke.  Wimborne will be very happy with this as a job completed clinically.  If you have been following them this year you may well have seen more goals in total than anyone else.  Final score 0-5
Ground Pix
A very well-equipped clubhouse alongside the wooden stand.  Altogether a very pleasant experience even in the rain. Minute silence impeccably observed in memory of Matt Grimstone and Jacob Schilt of Worthing United who lost their lives in the Shoreham Air Show crash last weekend Above-average levels of intrepidness
Match Pix
Cowes Sports are in the blue-and-white.
Public Information Service A field guide to Recognition of Isle of Wight Ferries
No, No, No No, No and No Definitely No Yes (red one) and No (white one) Yes (but only if you are on foot)
Updated Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
A win and a clean sheet for green over bottom-of-the-table pink. The story so far: 3pts for win, 1pt for draw, -1pt for goal against and +5pts for a clean sheet P W D L GA (-1 each) CS (5 each) Pts Pts per Game Red 6.0 3.0 0.0 3.0 6.0 2.0 13.0 2.17 Green 37.0 18.0 5.0 14.0 56.0 12.0 63.0 1.70 Purple 7.0 4.0 2.0 1.0 13.0 2.0 11.0 1.57 Maroon 4.0 2.0 1.0 1.0 6.0 1.0 6.0 1.50 Grey 29.5 13.0 7.0 9.5 43.5 7.0 34.5 1.27 Orange 9.5 2.0 3.0 4.5 12.5 3.0 11.5 1.21 Blue 18.0 7.0 4.0 7.0 29.0 5.0 21.0 1.17 Yellow 15.0 3.0 5.0 7.0 28.0 3.0 1.0 0.07 Black 3.0 1.0 2.0 0.0 7.0 0.0 -2.0 -0.67 Radioactive Bile 6.0 2.0 0.0 4.0 12.0 0.0 -6.0 -1.00 Pink 9.0 1.0 3.0 5.0 23.0 0.0 -17.0 -1.89
What Next?
The new school term is about to start and my hopping decisions tend to be last-minute at this time of year.  Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!