8-1 With My Surroundings in Kempston

Yaxley's Sam Bettinson (9) was always a physical presence for the visitors

For the record, Lee Jordan caught it, and the snow on it.

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 14 January at Hillgrounds
Result	AFC Kempston Rovers 1 Yaxley 1
Competition	United Counties Premier League (step 5)
Hopping	This is venue #447 on the lifetime list.  The adjacent pitch is used by AFC Kempston Town of the Step 7 Bedfordshire Senior League and appears at #303 from May 2010.  They are now known as AFC Kempston Town & Bedford College after a new strategic partnership was formed for this season.  You can also pick up my previous encounters with both teams from the tag cloud on the right.
This match in one sentence
A set-piece earned Rovers a point although Yaxley carried the greater threat in open play in an apparent reversal of league table form.
So what?
AFC Kempston Rovers (whom I last saw winning the Hinchingbrooke Cup at the end of last season) are having a solid season after promotion from step 6 and drop one place to 8th after this result.  Yaxley are in a relegation fight and could go bottom in Desborough Town win their games in hand.
Something random
Mobile phone mast failing to hide in Scooby-Doo trees No.37
The drama unfolds
The players took a while to adapt to the conditions – whether it was the low temperature affecting the bounce, or just the surface, I couldn’t say – but the first few minutes were disjointed save for a Yaxley header which clipped the post.  Let’s give the home keeper Aaron Bodger the benefit of the doubt for good judgement. My scene-setter clip is from the quarter-hour point.  It is one of those that goes on a bit too long with nothing happening, but I was scared to stop filming because it looked as if something might happen soon.  This is why I did not pursue a career in sales and marketing.  The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and so are Yaxley. Yaxley were looking more likely to score and good work by Luke Hipwell, wearing 7 but playing up front to confuse me, set up a chance that needed a superb saving tackle by Sam Macrae.  I have a pic of the pass but not the tackle, so you have to take my word for it. Kempston gradually got into the game and started to impose their league table position, so I wandered down to the other end.  Just in time to watch from a distance as Yaxley took the lead after 38 minutes.  Hipwell beat his man in the area and fashioned a shooting chance, and it looked like Bodger had no chance. There is nothing else of note to report before the interval.  0-1 at half-time I tweeted the half-time score, as is my wont, and must apologise for tweeting Kempston Rovers 8 Yaxley 1 to the footballing world.  It was cold, I didn’t put my specs on, and my phone display is on its last pixelated legs.  I am very sorry, I am very embarrassed, and I will accept the three points on my provisional tweeting licence.  On the other hand, I am quietly pleased that so many people noticed!  I promise to tell the whole truth to Lord Leveson, as he is sure to ring up next week. To the second half, in the presence of the Eurocopter EC-135 G-CHSU overhead (I like to keep passing planespotters interested). Bedfordshire Police search for the idiot who caused riots by tweeting a wrong 8-1 half-time scoreline Kempston Rovers started well and Yaxley keeper Lee Jordan blocked a shot well after good work by Jordan Jarrell marauding from fullback down the right.  This set piece came soon after, to level the scores after 53 minutes.  The scorer is Phil Draycott. After that, both sides traded chances for ten minutes or so.  Hipwell created another chance and this time it was the other Rovers fullback Sam Brown with the last-ditch saver tackle.  Bodger was a bit fortunate when a clearance was charged down but fell nicely back to him.  At the other end, Rovers missed a clear header from a corner.  My final short clips are from the latter stages of the game.  Yaxley finished the stronger of the two sides and they show the pressure they created from crosses, but Bodger has the last word.  Draycott hits another freekick over the bar for the hosts. The match nearly ended in controversy.  The burly Andrew Phillips came off the Kempston bench as an impact player in more ways than one.  He won the ball, to howls of protest, on the left and sent the ball across, too deep but Jarrell was up there again.  His pass gave a shooting chance to Danny Watson, but it went high and wide.  Final score 1-1
Man-of-the-Match
Luke Hipwell of Yaxley got on the scoresheet and was involved in most of the creative work for the visitors, so he gets the nod today.
A snippet from the programme
The club has included as a centre-spread the copy of the FA press release about the proposals to review step 5/6 in the national hierarchy.  Like any consultation run by “authority” it seems to have bred misinformation and conspiracy theories, but here are some of the bullet points, summarised.  It is said that a majority of the fourteen leagues are in favour of change, with a key aim being to equalise travel (so some teams will have more, some less). Every effort should be made to establish twelve step 5 divisions of 22 clubs (to feed to and from the six step 4 divisions) Clubs must achieve the necessary ground grading by 31 March 2013 The first season will be 2013/4 and there will be one or two transitional seasons where divisions might have up to 25 teams before adjustments can be made to relegation arrangements The next step will be a series of regional meetings.  Whatever happens, some groundhoppers may have to amend their programme storage systems or spreadsheet league codes …
What I learned today
Rovers are known as The Walnut Boys.
What Next?
A little jaunt to Milton Keynes for the biggest game of the English Ice Hockey Premier League season so far – MK Lightning v Guildford Flames.  Post to follow.  Hoping the weather will be good for FA Vase Round 4 next Saturday.

Linnets Win It

Yaxley are in all blue, KL in white and black.

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Tuesday 22 February 2011 at Leading Grove
Result	Yaxley 0  King’s Lynn Town 6
Competition	United Counties Premier League (step 5)
Hopping	Just over an hour’s journey (in theory) for a midweek hop and the first time I have tried out my new Flip video camera (so apologies for shakiness on some of the clips!)
This match in one sentence
Never in doubt, to the point of tedium really, but the impressive number of KL supporters went home happy enough.
This match summed up in the approximate style of “Waiting for Godot”
Vladimir: How many is it now? Estragon: I forget.  Five, maybe six.  Only the visitors are counting. Vladimir: There's a man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet. Estragon: Yes. Time for a substitute, I think.  Maybe three. Vladimir: Was I sleeping, while the others suffered? Am I ... sleeping now? Tomorrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of today? Estragon: I don't know.  Ask Garth Crooks.  He might understand you.
So what?
King’s Lynn keep up the pressure on the division leaders St Neots Town.  They are now four points behind in third, but with a game in hand, and even more in hand over Newport Pagnell who are currently splitting them.  They are undefeated in all competitions since early October, and their website has already noted the dates of the FA Vase semi finals and final.  They play Rye United in the last eight. Yaxley are in the lower reaches of the division but should have enough points to be clear of relegation.
The drama unfolds
The first goal was scored from the penalty spot by Jamie Thurlbourne within seconds of my arrival through the turnstiles, so I can’t say too much about it.  "It's going to be a long old eighty-nine minutes," said someone wise nearby.  0-1.  The second goal was a screamer and may have been the most spectacular goal I have ever seen at a “live” game.  The ball was played back by Thurlbourne J into midfield from a corner, and his brother Luke, in acres of space, had time to take a touch before sending a beauty in off the post from a trillion yards.  Well, thirty at least.  0-2.  Another penalty (harsh, I thought) from Jamie followed before half-time to complete a kind of Thurlbourne co-operative hat-trick.  Two clips (now in HD from my new gadget) give a feel for the attacking style of King's Lynn, building from the back and working their way patiently to crossing positions.  0-3 at the break. The second penalty kick nestles in the back of the net for 0-3 Yaxley held firm for a while at the start of the second half and even managed to get the ball in the King’s Lynn half occasionally.  However, the impressive King’s Lynn debutant #9 Dubi Ogbonna  burst through and finished very well.  0-4.  A follow-up shot from Robbie Harris trickled in soon after, for 0-5, and then substitute striker Jack Defty was on hand to finish from six yards after home keeper Aaron Bellairs could not quite hold on to the ball after yet another save. Home goalkeeper Alex Street was needed to make one excellent save in the last few minutes for his clean sheet but in all honesty this was a very straightforward win with very little for the neutral to get excited about.  The other clips capture more second-half near misses for the visitors.  Final score 0-6.  Thanks to Yaxley's website for helping me confirm the identity of the scorers.
Alternative activity of equal excitement for tourists in Peterborough
Queueing for 90 minutes at the Passport Office.  Or having your photograph taken with a cardboard cut-out of Barry Fry.  Or explaining the difference between fens and fans to a passing South African.
A snippet from the programme
Sadly, I arrived only just before kick-off and stocks had sold out.  That is a shocker for a groundhopper and I’d better keep quiet about it else I will be fined by the Royal and Ancient Order of Protective Polypocketers and Cardboard Stiffeners.
What I learned today
Yaxley’s ground is a work in progress, and has been for some time after an access dispute held up the development for the best part of a year.  Their website says that the new clubhouse should be ready for the start of next season.
Something random
Here’s a situation I found myself in today (honestly).  I need to decide whether to pursue an insurance claim for a stolen pair of spectacles.  (Don’t ask.)  They cost around £150 and there is a £60 excess on the policy.  The insurance company claims department tell me that my premium may go up next year if I claim.  Fair enough, I suppose, but I need to know by how much in order to make the decision.  So they put me through to the renewals department, who say they cannot tell me what the difference will be or what factors are taken into account.  The only course of action open to me, it seems, is a formal complaint route.  All of this exposed me to more than the Recommended Daily Amount of muzak as I surfed around the semi-automatic telephone systems of the world like a cheap version of that bloke in The Matrix. I pointed out the bizarre inconsistency in the position of their two departments and I really hope my telephone calls (which may have been recorded for training purposes of course) pass into Aviva staff development folklore in due course, especially the bits about, “How is this consistent with the industry's stated promises of transparency and fairness?”  I may have been channelling Victor Meldrew at one point.  I certainly hope so.  I feel better for telling you about it.  Thank you for listening.
What Next?
A lie down in a darkened room.