See Emley Play (FA Cup Remix)

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Sunday 16 August 2015 at The Welfare Ground
Result	AFC Emley 7 Parkgate 1
Competition	FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round
Hopping	Ground 574 for me.  I’m here because I stayed oop North after yesterday’s hop to Ashton Athletic, and I planned a leisurely drive over the Pennines to take in this game before heading back towards the equator.
Pre-match preparation
The A635 Oldham to Holmfirth road was looking lovely in the sunshine. Yeoman Hey & Dove Stone Reservoirs As for today’s match, it is a Step 6 v 5 affair from the Northern Counties East.  Parkgate will start as favourites – they lead their division, albeit after only two games.  This match has helpfully been moved to Sunday because the cricket team had priority on Saturday.
This match in one sentence
One word will suffice – humiliation.
So what?
AFC Emley will head off to Burscough in the next round.
The drama unfolds
Nothing in the first fifteen minutes hinted at the carnage that was to come.  I was at the end attacked by Parkgate, and although maybe Emley edged the game territorially once they settled, there were no clear chances.  Parkgate’s ambitions were stifled by a disciplined Emley defence who repeatedly caught Oliver Graham offside.  Then Alex Slack headed a good chance over for Emley before Parkgate’s Jonathan Wragg made a great defensive block.  The floodgates were about to open. Emley scored three times in eight minutes to the delight of the hopper-enhanced home supporters.  To be more specific, Ashley Flynn scored three times in eight minutes.  For the first, he found a bit of space for a calm finish.  The second was a neat move down the right and the visiting defence lost him again.  The third triggered huge celebrations, of course.  All of this was oop t’other end, as they say in these parts.  3-0 after 28 minutes Well never mind, I would be in good photographic position for the Parkgate comeback.  It started (and ended as it transpired) in stoppage time.  Here’s the tackle and Graham's penalty that gave the visitors some half-time hope.  3-1 at half-time I decided to move to the other end for the second-half for two reasons.  Firstly, this is a gorgeous ground in a lovely northern setting and these things have to be done from all angles.  It’s the rules.  Secondly, I really thought that Parkgate would fight back in the second half.  How wrong could I be?  The second half was even for about 15 minutes.  Parkgate hit the bar from a corner with the keeper beaten – what might have happened if we had gone 3-2 at that point?  Flynn removed any doubts by getting his fourth goal – at the other end, of course.  4-1 after 62 minutes With half-an-hour left in this knockout game, Parkgate were forced to commit forward but the ball kept coming back in Emley attacks.  I started wandering back to my original position and was only just past halfway before Emley started to go for a cricket score.  A great curling ball from the left flank put Kieran Ryan into a one-on-one with the keeper, and he made no mistake.  Then Jordan Coduri showed persistence to keep the ball in on the right wing, cut-inside and exchanged passes in the box before firing in a great goal, and then in stoppage time Alex Hallam added a well-crafted cherry on the top of a rout.  I have never been physically so far away from so many goals in one game.  Final score 7-1
Ground Pix
Three-sided because of a cricketing partnership, views from one end of this fabulous ground are dominated by the Emley Moor transmission tower, bringing Judge Judy, Alan Shearer, David Dickinson and the Eggheads to the north of England in fulfilment of Lord Reith's broadcasting vision.  It is the tallest freestanding structure in the UK, keeping that southern upstart known as The Shard in second place.
Match Pix
Something You Don’t Get in the Premier League
Hoppers were queueing up to photograph that price list, I kid you not.  Plus, here is a bonus link to Mike Bayly's new FB group celebrating Non-League Raffle Prizes in which Emley set the bar high with nutritional offerings of breakfast and Guinness. https://www.facebook.com/groups/554161814732251/
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats
Full table to follow at the end of the month, but this is a major setback for GREEN.  GREY gets the Win but not the Clean Sheet.
What Next?
Watch @GrahamYapp on Twitter for details!

The blogpost title is a hat-tip to @laurencereade – it’s standard to find that he’s been here before you but when he has already taken the same music-related pun that you wanted too... Here's the link for his April 2015 visit, which was NOT such a good day for a certain Ashley Flynn.

https://laurencereade.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/see-emley-play/

Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape (Three-Hop Deluxe)

Groundhopper ritual teamsheet completion

Maltby Main v Parkgate

Stocksbridge Park Steels v Chester

Worsbrough Bridge Athletic v Rossington Main

Hopperational details
Date & Venue	Saturday 7 April 2012 in Yorkshire
Result & Competition	See below for individual match details
Hopping	Today’s programme takes in the morning and evening matches from Groundhop UK’s Northern Counties East hop (sadly, I could not get to yesterday’s games) interspersed with a new step 3 ground.  I now have five triples and one quadruple on my lifetime list, and these are grounds #456, #457 and #458.  Thanks to Groundhop UK and the NCEL for making this day possible.
Maltby Main v Parkgate - The drama unfolds from 10.30am The Maltby Miners Welfare Ground, Muglet Lane Northern Counties East League Premier Division – step 5
In one sentence:  An unexpected but deserved win for the home side which improves their chances of avoiding relegation to step six. The local home supporters were pessimistic about the prospects for this local derby and they would not have been cheered when their captain soon went into the ref’s notebook for a late challenge.  However, the Parkgate defence showed early signs of dithering despite the bumpy pitch and they were still drowsy when Thomas Something-Brown gave them the lead rather against the run of playafter 10 mins.  The “Something” is Foltym, Foylten or Folyton depending on whether you believe the cub website, the league website or the ground whiteboard.  1-0 Thomas Variable-Name puts Maltby 1-0 up After 25 minutes, Parkgate’s Danny Cardwell went into the book for dissent and his manager failed to look surprised by this.  He was always in the game with forays down the left and long throws into the box.  The game was now very even and I spotted a replica gorilla on the porch of a nearby house that caused me to check whether the Maltby Main coffee should be a class A drug. Exhibit 1, M'lud - gorilla identified by arrow The home side should have gone two up after 27 minutes but an outstanding block by Matthew Needham denied Rob Branagan, who had broken the offside trap.  The party piece routine from the resulting corner failed to function. Here is a scene-setter clip from this stage of the game.  Parkgate are getting back on top, pressing for an equaliser, and ‘keeper Andrew Carney is busy. Maltby Main are in red-and-black. That equaliser duly came after 41 minutes.  Full-back Jonathan Wragg neatly but accidentally sent a glancing header from a corner into his own net.  1-1 at half-time Both number 11s were involved immediately after the restart.  Cardwell fell over as the result of an alleged trip but there was no second yellow even after he told one of the spectators to go forth and multiply.  Craig Gladwin’s fierce cross-shot for Maltby Main was at a nice height for Jamie Bailey to beat down. Here are two more clips.  Is it just me or is that dog near me shouting, “Ref!!” repeatedly?  If so, he fits in well. On 58 minutes, an overhead kick out of nowhere by Branagan gave Maltby Main the lead.  A great goal and deserving of a good crowd to see it.  2-1 After 77 minutes, the home side sealed the win with a breakaway goal that significantly improves their chances of avoiding relegation.  The scorer was Gladwin.  3-1 There was time for Carney to make the save of the day - a superb block from Parkgate substitute Nathan Forbes-Swindell.  In an open final phase, Maltby Main came close to adding a fourth but this was a great result for them.  I went in search of a plastic gorilla en route to Stocksbridge as the bulk of the crowd went off to Staveley and Hallam.  I would see them again later.  Final score 3-1 So what?  Parkgate are 7th.  Maltby Main are still bottom-but-one but have a must-win home game next Saturday against the team immediately above them (Lincoln Moorlands Railway). Exhibit 2: I rest my case, m'lud
Stocksbridge Park Steels v Chester The drama unfolds from 10.10am The Look Local Stadium, Bracken Moor Northern Premier League – step 3
In one sentence: Chester did enough damage to the scoreline early on and hung on to the three points for another big step towards the divisional title. I joined a large crowd at Stocksbridge Park Steels in time to watch the large contingent of visiting supporters mercilessly take the proverbial out of the home side’s pre-match shooting practice.  The only time I ever watched these things with interest was when Kevin Phillips played for West Brom, and there was one time at Kenilworth Road, Luton, when I should have watched because “Super” Bob Taylor smacked me painfully on the head from behind.  Today’s drill can have done nothing for the players’ confidence and all recent results suggested an away win as Chester close in on the championship Chester took the lead after 6 minutes.  Chris Simm broke clear, rounded the keeper, rode a challenge and slotted in.  0-1 Here’s a scene-setting clip from the early minutes of the game.  There are no gorillas, plastic or otherwise. The second clip has a good save from Ben Scott and then Chester’s deflected second goal, given to Robbie Booth and timed at 18 minutes.  They are in the blue-and-white stripes.  The home players protested long and hard, but the goal stood.  0-2 Chester were comfortable for the rest of the half and even the visiting fans stopped singing as they sensed job done … perhaps they were all planning ahead for the Easter Monday fixture.  Stocksbridge had a couple of half-chances but the saves they forced from Matt Glennon were easy enough, and Michael Taylor had to intervene on one occasion to block Jack Muldoon.  0-2 at half-time Happily for this passing neutral (now repositioned on a bank at one end) Stocksbridge upped their game and got a goal back after 52 minutes, and here’s the clip.  Daryl Weston is the scorer.  1-2 I also have a very short “if only” clip as the balance of power shifted in the game and Chester were put on the back foot. The final clip is from the closing minutes, with Stocksbridge having plenty of pressure and possession.  Chester defended well and hung on for the win, though not without the odd scare.  Final score 1-2 So what?  Chester play second placed Northwich Victoria at home on Easter Monday and a win or draw gives them a second successive title on the day.  Stocksbridge have slipped into the relegation zone and still have some work to do this season.
Worsbrough Bridge Athletic v Rossington Main The drama unfolds from 7.45pm Park Road, Worsbrough Bridge The Northern Counties East League Division One – step 6
In one sentence: Four unanswered goals after a forgettable first half gave a scoreline which brooks no argument. The main incident of note in the first half at Worsbrough Bridge was the retrieval of a ball with a net on a pole from the adjacent stream.  It was a game with 0-0 written all over it.  Rossington Main had one headed chance after 25 minutes, and Worsbrough Bridge had a shooting chance just before half-time, but that was it.  0-0 at half-time Things improved greatly in the second half and it was a super goal that gave Worsbrough Bridge the lead after 51 mins.  Spencer Goff’s turn and dipping shot was a great moment for him and the crowd. Here are a couple of clips to set the scene - Worsbrough are in red-and-black. The home side scored three more goals.  Tom Copping (according the the club website) headed into the roof of the net after 66 minutes.  2-0  After 72 minutes, Scott Ruthven scored with a glancing header from a corner and added his second four minutes later.  It ended up as a very comfortable win for the home side.  3-0 and 4-0 So what?  The clubs switch places and are now 7th (Worsbrough) and 8th (Rossington) respectively.
What Next?
Premier League ice hockey second leg playoff quarter final – Manchester Phoenix v Swindon Wildcats – an Easter Sunday confrontation in Altrincham.