Sittingbourne Pretty as the Crows Plummet Out of the Trophy

Hopperational Details
Date & Venue	Saturday 20 September 2025 at the Charles Century Community Stadium, Fermor Road
Result	Crowborough Athletic 1 Sittingbourne 6
Competition	FA Trophy 2nd Round Qualifying
Hopstats	Ground #808 on the lifetime list. One of my thirty-odd Step 4 target grounds for this season. Headed south today because of the Met Office yellow warning for the north-west.
Context
Mixed season so far for the hosts, newly promoted from Step 5. Mid-table (Isthmian Division One South-East) and out of the FA Cup, but they set this tie up with an away win at Hassocks in the previous round. Sittingbourne are in the same division and reached last season’s playoff final. They have had a decent start in the league but are also out of the FA Cup. They beat Faversham Town 2-1 in the previous round of the Trophy and will probably start the day as favourites here.
Match Report
Sittingbourne could have been four or five up in the first half-hour. As it was their wastefulness meant that they had just the two. A neat finish into the bottom left corner by Jack Steventon to round off the first attack of the game, and a slightly bizarre stooped headed goal for experienced debutant Derek Asamoah after the ball had ricocheted around the six-yard box. The movement of the Sittingbourne strike force caused issues for the home defence, especially that of Asamoah. The visiting fans were in good voice and absolutely loved the determination of their new signing in winning the ball back in midfield. Sittingbourne were soon to go three up as Jean-Baptiste Fischer glanced in a header from a freekick. Crowborough finally caused a bit of action in the Sittingbourne box just before half-time, but nothing came of it. It would be important for Crowborough to get the next goal, and they did. The second half started as a mirror image of the first with a good low shot into the same corner of the same goal. Rushaar Samuel-Smikle the scorer. So, some hope of a challenge. That hope was snuffed out on 70 minutes with Sittingbourne’s fourth, Richard Hamill’s curling shot just evading the keeper’s outstretched hand. The fifth was an 80th minute screamer from Eman Robe, and the sixth from Ellis Brown in stoppage time wasn’t too shabby either. And so, back to the M25 and the Dartford Crossing (yes, the A282 before some pedant points it out). Nice ground, nice people, shame about the game – as a passing neutral I enjoy it more when the result is in doubt for longer. All credit to Sittingbourne, though – that was clinical. Someone press CTRL-ALT-DEL for Crowborough. They will have better days than this.
So What?
Usual cliché here about Crows concentrating on the league and Sittingbourne in the hat for the next round etc etc.
Pix
Crowborough in blue-and-black.
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats Update
The background to this, and the latest keeper top colour league table, is here on this dedicated page. Today a catastrophic defeat for Purple, a win for Orange. Enough to make Purple drop two places. Pre-match Prediction based on Keeper Top Colour: Prediction: Home Win Was the prediction correct? No % of correct predictions so far 48% (98 from 195)
What Next?
Simple answer - no idea. Last-minute decisions based on the weather and work commitments will be the usual method this season. I have Everton and Worcester City to visit to restore "everywhere down to Step 3 in England" and just over 30 Step 4 grounds to go.

 

Hard to See Any Silver Lining for Becks This Time

Hopperational Details
Date & Venue	Saturday 30 August at Eden Park Avenue
Result	Beckenham Town 2 Egham Town 3
Competition	FA Cup 1st Round Qualifying
Hopstats	Ground 805 on the lifetime list.
Context
Both teams play at Step 4 but in different divisions within the Isthmian League. Neither team has started that well in the league, with both looking for a first win, but in knockout games Beckenham won 1-0 at Hassocks in the preliminary round. This is Egham’s fourth FA Cup game of the season. They won 1-0 at Northwood in the extra preliminary round and then needed a replay to beat Corinthian convincingly 4-0 after a 2-2 draw. They are, however, already out of the FA Trophy after a home defeat by Margate.
Match Report
Spacetime is bent in Beckenham. You see the ground on the left as the train pulls into the station from London and when you turn left in the subway you’ll be on the wrong side of the tracks in suburbia. Never mind, just a slightly longer pre-match stroll as a result, and then you see how close the clubhouse is to the trainline. Nice ground, friendly welcome, printed programme, the comfiest clubhouse seats of all time, bit of a slope on the pitch. All good. I check the teams on soc med and note that Egham (The Sarnies) have a “Starting IX” which if true is going to make life difficult. Then the fun starts on the pitch. Grimly fascinating for this passing neutral but entirely frustrating for supporters of both teams. As an honest blogger, I have to record that this was technically the poorest game I’ve seen this season – so many unforced errors, but so many chances created. The xG calculators would be in meltdown. Not too much playing out from the back, but channels, aerial battles and second balls. Both teams have at least a couple of direct runners. Very hard-fought and competitive. Great stuff. Becks should have been more comfortably ahead at the interval. Tyler Tobin, in purple in the Sarnies’ goal, was busy. He made a great save with his legs on 16 minutes from Louie Theophanous, but it should have been a goal. Just before the half-hour Tobin was adjudged to have brought down an attacker at the byeline. He redeemed himself superbly by blocking both Theophanous’ spot-kick and Steve Townsend’s rebound. Although Egham fashioned their best chance just before the break with a glancing header from a freekick, instead of 2-0 it was still 0-0 when the whistle went. Becks made two changes to their lineup and then lost defender Mudiaga Wanogho to injury. Meanwhile, Egham had reminded us of their presence by almost scoring from a corner. On the hour, the first goal. Egham lost the ball in a central position and Theophanous found himself in the clear. This time he buried the chance. He would shoot wide on the break again before the equaliser came. The lead had lasted five manic minutes. Egham substitute Luke Hennaghan had a shot deflected just wide as the visitors responded. He then rolled in a penalty given for handball – there had been a goalline clearance but I think the offence must have been just before that, I can’t be certain. However, 1-1 and now a very open game, and just two more minutes this time before Hennaghan turned the scoreline around with a very cool finish. Now, with Becks having to press forward, the chance and unforced error count went even higher. An Egham defender completely missed a kick. Both teams fluffed one-on-ones. Egham’s Connor Cullen could (should?) have had a couple of goals as the home defence weakened, one effort shaving the post. Finally, with just a few minutes left he tucked away the third goal. We weren’t finished. Theophanous scored again as we entered stoppage time, and even then there was time for another half chance. Egham held on for the win. Both teams will feel that they should have won this more comfortably, it was that kind of game. I ended my day with a cross-London walk between my trains, as usual trying to think of the traditional pun for the post’s title. Decide to go with an obscure musical reference rather than something about takeaways and sarnies. Thanks, as ever, for reading. Follow @ModusHRandom for more of this stuff - current follower count stands at ... 1 ... after I abandoned my previous account on there.
So What?
Beckenham have a midweek league game before they go to Northwood in the FA Trophy next Saturday. Egham go into the proverbial hat for the next round and may not play again until mid-Sept unless something is rearranged.
Pix
Beckenham in Orange, Egham in Green.  First part of Tyler Tobin's double save to deny Becks The equaliser
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats Update
The background to this, and the latest keeper top colour league table, is here on this dedicated page. Today Green played Purple. Pre-match Prediction based on Keeper Top Colour: Prediction: Home Win Was the prediction correct? No % of correct predictions so far 48% (91 from 190) I'm not the only person ever to have looked at this, by the way. Here's the outcome of a cheeky post-match Google search ...
What Next?
The start of the Autumn term in the nation’s secondary schools, so I may have to concentrate on physics, chemistry and mathematics for a while! Many of my priority grounds involve long journeys so there will also be an element of weather dependence.

A Tale of Two Heaths for Easter Monday

  

Hopperational Details
Date & Venues	Monday 21 April 2025 (Easter Monday) a)    Hassocks Hotel Beacon Ground b)    BodyMould Mattresses Community Stadium
Results	Hassocks 3 Haywards Heath Town 0 Broadbridge Heath 4 Littlehampton Town 0
Competitions	a)    Southern Combination Premier (Step 5) b)    Isthmian Division One South-East (Step 4)
Hopstats	Numbers 797 & 798 respectively on my lifetime list and I’m here for a chance to tick off a Step 4 priority whilst kickoff times and proximity allow a Bank Holiday double hop.
Context
Penultimate league games of the season for all four teams today. Hassocks have already secured the divisional title and will grace Step 4 with their picturesque ground next season. Haywards Heath slipped to fourth earlier in the weekend but are still in the playoff positions. Both Broadbridge Heath and Littlehampton Town are safe in mid- and lower-mid table respectively so there is not much riding on the fixture except local bragging rights.
Match Reports
Haywards Heath lined up for the traditional guard of honour for the champions-elect. They held on for just over half an hour before going behind in a moment of controversy. I was at the other end so need to be somewhat vague, but it looked as if Dan Turner’s header from a ridiculous distance went in on the bounce, but with the visiting keeper Mitch Bromage flattened and in need of subsequent treatment. Turner himself had taken the long throw that caused the initial chaos. Long and looping far post corners, alongside the long-throw weapon, meant that the aerial routes were well-used in home attacks. It had been a very physical first half, with Hassocks generally on top before Heath’s first real chance on the break as we entered stoppage time. The visitors could and should have equalised just after the hour. It took an outstanding double block by keeper James Shaw then defender Joe Bull to keep the lead. Then an attempt to play out from the back went wrong and Hassocks doubled their lead. Josh Mundy was set up beautifully for a spectacular first-time strike. Substitute Rauri Farrell got the third in similar circumstances, and another sub Charlie Pitcher was denied twice in quick succession as the Haywards Heath challenge subsided. I had to skip the trophy presentation formalities to head north to Broadbridge Heath. I often lurk with visiting supporters when I am a neutral, but the tuneless megaphone-assisted “singing” from the Littlehampton end meant that my loyalties switched sharpishly. Both sides threatened. Littlehampton were more direct, but Broadbridge reached the byline more than once down the flanks without creating a finish. The floodgates opened on 27 minutes with a Mark Goldson penalty. Littlehampton responded with a good spell of pressure but then Goldson got a second with a clever turn and shot. An intelligent pass led to a third, for Mason Doughty, before the interval and that was pretty much all doubt removed about the result. The fourth goal was a peach. Matt Hay’s right-wing cross at the end of a run (maybe more stepovers than strictly necessary, but enough to bamboozle the defence) was converted with a textbook diving header by Louis Evans. The last half-hour was largely uneventful, but that was a very effective demolition job by the home side. A nice Bank Holiday double hop, despite the joylessness of the M25 western section on the way home.
So What?
Farewell to Step 5 for Hassocks. Haywards Heath will still need to get something from their final game in order to secure that playoff space. They could finish anywhere from 3rd to 7th. Littlehampton Town will finish 18th no matter what happens next weekend, and Broadbridge will finish between 11th and 14th.
Pix
Hassocks (in red) v Haywards Heath   Broadbridge Heath (blue) v Littlehampton Town
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats Update
The background to this, and the latest keeper top colour league table, is here on this dedicated page. Today, a bad day for predictions as Pink and Purple beat Orange and Green respectively, and with clean sheets too. Pre-match Prediction based on Keeper Top Colour: Predictions: a)    Away Win b)    Away Win Was the prediction correct? a)    No b)    No % of correct predictions so far 49% (88 from 180)
What Next?
Who knows? School exam season approaching (always a busy time at work) so I have to take one day at a time. I’d like to get at least 799 and 800 done this season.

 

Sloping Off Down South for a Boxing Day Double

 

No programme from the first game. This is the cover of the e-programme from Horndean.

 

Hopperational Details
Date & Venue	Boxing Day, 26 December 2023 a)    The Rotherfield b)    The Stanley Drake Stadium, Five Heads Park
Results	a)    Midhurst & Easebourne 2 Pagham 0 b)   Horndean 2 Littlehampton Town 1
Competition	a)    Southern Combination Premier (Step 5) b)    Isthmian League Div 1 SE (Step 4)
Hopstats	Grounds 769 & 770 on the lifetime list, and I’m here non-randomly because the geographical closeness and helpful kickoff times made for an easy double hop.
Context
The first game is essentially a mid-table fixture. The second is from the lower half of the table. Horndean were promoted to Step 4 from the Wessex League last season and Littlehampton are in their second season at this level.
In One Sentence Each
A very late second goal for Midhurst & Easebourne was hard to take for Pagham who almost made the hosts pay for wasting second-half chances. Horndean did their damage in the first half and in the end were rather hanging on grimly after going down to ten men.
So What?
Midhurst & Easebourne up two places to 7th, Pagham down one to 13th. Horndean up a place to 14th, Littlehampton Town remain 17th.
Match Report : Midhurst & Easebourne v Pagham
It was an even, goalless first half with contrasting styles. The home side tried to play out patiently from defence, depending on their centre backs to pick a pass. Occasionally this would misfire and give the visitors a chance to break. Both keepers were occasionally called into action, but in truth there wasn’t a lot of incisive action to report. Midhurst and Easebourne took the lead after 53 mins with a nicely placed header from a right-wing cross, and soon after it took a good flying save from the Pagham keeper to prevent a second. In the closing stages, the home side missed several good one-on-one chances as Pagham were forced to commit to attack, and the second goal didn’t arrive until the fifth minute of added time.
Ground Pix
Picturesque location, a pronounced slope. Be aware that the turning into the car park is almost impossible to negotiate if approaching on the main road from the south.
Match Pix
Home side in blue.
Match Report : Horndean v Littlehampton Town
Both Horndean’s goals came in the first half, after a short delay due to floodlight issues. Thankfully, the smoke emerging from the base of the pylon turned out not to be a serious problem. Smoke drifting in from the left ... The first goal probably has to go down as a keeper error, and the second was a header from a set piece. The picture below is the moment just before contact. The visitors had looked pretty toothless in the first half but immediately showed more intent in the second and deservedly pulled a goal back. This was now an end-to-end game, largely fought in the midfield, but Littlehampton created two great chances to equalise, a header and a shot going just wide. The final quarter of the game was affected by a second yellow card for Horndean’s number 9. He had been booked for kicking the ball away at a free kick just a few minutes earlier. Then a heavy touch by the Littlehampton keeper took the ball outside the area, and not under his control. The referee saw 9’s challenge as serious foul play. As the nearest person in the ground to the incident, I have to say that I didn’t. The keeper was back up and running after minimal treatment. The closing stages were dominated by backs-to-the-wall defence by Horndean, and breaking into the corners to run the clock down whenever possible. It wasn’t pretty, indeed it was occasionally ugly. At one point the referee came over to the far side, opposite to the benches, and appeared to either remonstrate or show a card to someone. I can’t be sure of the details. Horndean hung on for the win and the three points.
Ground Pix
Another ground with a noticeable slope! Plenty of character with its hotch-potch of buildings and a concrete wall at one end to make speedy wingers think twice before hitting top speed.
Match Pix
Home side in red. Fading light at this point means fewer usable pix.
Goalkeeper Top Colour Stats Update
Usually accompanied by a pre-match prediction on Threads just before kickoff. Working towards being able to compute a respectable test of statistical significance, it looks like an Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) test will be appropriate. The full keeper top performance table from my last 285 matches is here, on this separate page, and I’ll organise the test when we reach 300 pieces of evidence. Today we have a pair of defeats for Purple caused by M&E’s Green (as expected) and Horndean’s Yellow (not as expected), with a clean sheet for Green too. Pre-match Predictions based on Keeper Top Colour: Predictions: a)    Home Win & b) Away Win Were the predictions correct? a)    Yes & b) No % of correct predictions so far 48% (67 from 140)
What Next?
No definite plans, but hopefully another Step 4 ground ticked off somewhere in the country next Saturday. I have 24 left to do at that level, plus Plymouth Parkway at Step 3. I can now be found as grahamyapp on Threads, having abandoned the toxicity of Twitter since the misguided management of Elon Musk essentially ruined the platform.